The Singles Jukebox

Wakefield trio get a famous friend…

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[4.45]

Michaelangelo Matos: Why stop there? Dump his boring ass.
[3]

Andrew Unterberger: Post-britpop lives! “Cheat on Me” is like a late-90s Manic Steet Preachers song crossed with a late-90s Mansun song, with an intro cribbed (NPI) from late-90s anglophiles Superdrag’s “Destinaton Ursa Major” for good measure. Even the production sounds unmistakably ten-years-postmarked. I dig it, of course, but ten bucks (£5.98?) says that our UK writers put it through the wringer.
[7]

Fergal O’Reilly: Inexplicably still active, the Cribs have returned to threaten the #37 spot in the UK charts with some wimpy, unasked for union of the Stone Roses’ and the Killers’ more plodding moments. The limited turd-polishing skills of honorary fourth idiot brother Johnny Marr aren’t really enough to lift it beyond its unambitious foundations, though it gets an extra point for the droney “that’s another” bit being passable, and another on top of that for how funny it is that the band still exists.
[5]

Anthony Miccio: I didn’t know how these guys could ever top “Men’s Needs” and it sounds like they didn’t know either. I hear Johnny Marr’s workman chime and Nick Launay’s muddy alt-sauce, but I barely hear the Cribs at all. Recommended to Dave Kendall.
[4]

Martin Kavka: The Smiths (1982-1987) > Electronic (1989-1999) > Pretenders (1987-1988) > Modest Mouse (2006-2009) > The The (1989-1993) >> The Cribs (2008- ) > Johnny Marr & The Healers (2001-2003).
[3]

Martin Skidmore: The guitar jangles like Johnny Marr, and the singer wants to swoop like Morrissey, but there is nothing here to match the least of their work together, and nothing else in the way of energy or edge or whatever to lift it above fifth-rate.
[2]

Chuck Eddy: Yet another of those 1000 interchangeable Brit guitar jangle bands who, overheard in the right bar, might sound slightly less dull than they actually are. Which at least beats the 5000 even more interchangeable ones who wouldn’t.
[4]

Spencer Ackerman: If the Foo Fighters wrote a single in which they slathered on eyeliner after suffering massive headwounds, it would be this.
[4]

Alex Wisgard: When I started at Leeds Uni in 2007, it was impossible to step into any indie disco and not be slapped around the face by at least two Cribs songs over the course of a night. Their songs are ideal for the drunken student market, packed with irresistible choruses (MAN’S NEEDS! MAN’S NEEDS!), and for any words you didn’t know, there was always a “woah-oh” to keep people interested. But there was always a knowingly obscure side to the band, highlighted with tracks like “Be Safe” – a glorious dirge which cushioned a despondent monologue from Sonic Youth’s Lee Ranaldo – and it became increasingly hard to tell which side of their fanbase they were more at ease with entertaining. That the band’s twin frontmen are dating Kate Nash and Joanna Bolme, Stephen Malkmus’ bassist, sums up this sense of discomfort surprisingly well. “Cheat On Me” is hardly tailored for the dancefloor — it’s an almost painfully self-conscious stab at maturity, and hardly screams “comeback single” — but the more you listen, the more it reels you in. Its chorus isn’t quite the expected smack in the face, but that wouldn’t quite fit in with the surprising subtlety this track displays. Credit also for not thrusting new member Johnny Marr into the spotlight; his versatile fretwork actually fits in remarkably well with Ryan Jarman’s curiously Marr-esque arpeggios.
[7]

Alfred Soto: This really goes mental in the chorus, on which the lead singer turns into Paul Stanley to bellow the song title. Although I had to check the credits to confirm that the jangle wasn’t just a Johnny Marr clone, this workaday entry into the canon of perverse love songs does revel convincingly in the ick factor. I mean, not even Paul Stanley could write “try to win you over like a new stepfather” in his makeup.
[7]

Matt Cibula: This song could well be reason the number 3 was invented.
[3]