The Singles Jukebox

Do we have a theme today? Who’s counting…

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[4.42]

Micha Cavaseno: Scene: Chris Brown is attempting to reach THE CLIMAX in his rocket; yet his advisor, Usher, who’d made the voyage in the previous installment of the series is too busy in his attempt to win back his sweetheart, hands clenched around his phone as he wails and pleads. Meanwhile, our protagonist’s connect-, sorry, Co-Pilot, attempts a string of baseball punchlines to break the tension of the troubled journey while C. Breezy continues referencing other Usher blockbusters in some strange third-wall breaking moment. While watching a TV broadcast, Brown’s former training partner TY$ watches in disdain, woefully proven right about his hesitations for Brown to place his faith in Usher as the burnout turns to diamond dust in the atmosphere.
[2]

Crystal Leww: It just keeps happening: people keep giving good songs to Chris Brown of all the male R&B vocalists of the world. “New Flame” is no fluke for him; Fortune had the gorgeous “Sweet Love,” which was also a slow jam that could have been sung by literally anyone but somehow ended in the hands of Chris Brown. Luckily (or maybe unluckily), he’s joined here on “New Flame” by Usher, where the difference in quality between their verses is so obvious that it might as well be separated by several miles. Chris Brown does an okay job with his verse, but Usher sings like the prince in line for MJ’s throne. His runs go on for days without sounding like yelps, every moment punctuated with the kind of emotion that girls looking for love in the club dream about. He completely upstages Chris Brown, who might as well be relegated to background vocals by the end of the song. Can you imagine how fire this song would be if it were just Usher? This song is good despite Rick Ross spending thirty seconds at zero value added.
[6]

Jonathan Bradley: Whoever let Usher on this track must really hate Chris Brown. The contrast is embarrassing.
[5]

Luisa Lopez: The worst thing about Chris Brown is how tender, well-crafted, and genuinely good his songs are. They are usually full of something like early morning love, piled with words that sound intimate suddenly made loud. The most I can muster is beleaguered enjoyment, which is fitting for a song that is a little too long, packed with boring platitudes and invitations, and saved by a beat that sounds like it’s rocking you to sleep (but the good kind, the place in sleep you want to go). There’s something awful about Chris Brown singing, “I just wanna be the one to do you right,” and that carries through every verse, stays long after the chorus is gone.
[4]

David Lee: Chris Brown bested himself at this eye fucking ish a little under nine years ago. And why do Breezy and Usher sound like they’re auditioning for a weepy OVOXO sex tape?
[3]

Patrick St. Michel: Rick Ross is the anti-Nicki-Minaj, in that he’s incredible at dragging down songs he ends up featured on. Dude has been doing this for years, and he’s at it again on “New Flame” despite only being around for 30 seconds. Chris Brown and Usher’s parts are lovey-dovey acrobatics, a little cheesy (but hey, new love is) but sound great. Ross, meanwhile, spends more than half his verse dropping references to the Yankees and flaunts his LeBron-signed jersey. A Ross guest spot is basically just asking for an unrelated tangent at this point.
[5]

W.B. Swygart: FIRST DATE TIPS WITH RAWSE: If there’s one thing women love, it’s hearing men talk about baseball. Be sure to work as many baseball references as you can into the conversation — if you can make it so every single thing you say in some way refers back to the national game, even better!
[3]

Scott Mildenhall: “Who said you can’t find love in the club?” Well obviously you can’t, not off the bat, but with the old-fashioned direction Usher seems to be taking now, there’s a nice symmetry in calling back to one of his clear “EDM” precedents. This is much more polished lyrically and sonically. On both counts there’s a wide-eyed, unhurried sincerity; corny, but sounding meant. It’s impressively easy to believe in.
[7]

Alfred Soto: Chris Brown redeemed himself with “It Won’t Stop,” in which Sevyn Streeter’s presence and a melody and lyric steeped in lovelorn restraint kept his priapic one-dimensionality in check; the track has been an adult R&B mainstay for most of the year. Credit Usher for his almost succeeding again. Fortunately Rick Ross, playing id, reminds me why Brown will never change.
[5]

Josh Love: Conceptually this is terrific, and the execution is almost there until Ross swings and misses with the bases loaded like Alfonso Soriano (thoroughly unnecessary Yankees reference ftw!). Brown sets down a lovely foundation, and it only gets better when Usher builds atop it and their voices intertwine. You absolutely need an earthbound rap verse after all of that ephemeral emoting, but Ross’ hardball hagiography is equally incongruous and lazy. I mean, at least give me a YEAH JEETS reference ffs.
[6]

Brad Shoup: The phrasing and melody of the synthspine makes this a kind of sequel to Mario’s singularity “Break Up”. Only everyone here’s too on-brand. No one’s getting weird, or hitting his note at an acute angle. There’s no luxuriating in this new thing, just whip-pans to Usher (super-referential, sweatlessly charming) and Rick Ross (showing remarkable loyalty to a team that’s fifth in the wild-card standings). Although after a couple years of booms and fires and explosions, it’s actually kind of nice that the title functions as a figure with an added degree of remove.
[5]

Katherine St Asaph: So void of romantic or even lustful urgency that even the melisma sounds inert. Some love songs come off as if the artist’ll accept anyone with a pulse; here it’s like no one involved cares enough to make even that a prerequisite.
[2]