Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

Cascada – Dangerous

They sold platinum round the world, and they’re probably about to do it again…


Kat Stevens: After “Evacuate The Dancefloor”, this is pretty much straightforward Cascada by numbers. But Cascada’s numbers are 723695710697 and 1075935879385729.

Michaelangelo Matos: “Evacuate the Dancefloor”: obnoxious, attention-getting, giddy, lots of fun. This: pensive, the beat the only defining factor (and even that…), slides right off the ear.

Ramzy Alwakeel: In the decade since the internet’s seeping decentralisation began to demolish existing methods of evaluating the pop narrative, a peculiar nostalgia has evidently been manufactured towards the last few instances in which it was possible to determine the age of a record based merely upon its production. This nostalgia, at least, would explain the Cascada project, which appears to consist entirely of delicate reconstructions of a singularly 1999-esque scrapheap. In this instance, the most notable of these is the unholy gesture effected by the reckless overacceleration of a quasi-“expressive” vocal performance for the utility of a club mix. No one, however, could possibly contend that “Dangerous” has ever existed in downtempo form. Rather, it is a depressing likelihood that the focus group behind this single has yet to identify that the whirring effects riddling its templates are upsampling errors, not affect.

John Seroff: Reasons you might need to hear this song more than twice in your lifetime: 1) Just got a new DDR mat. 2) Using it as an audition piece for Flashdance! The Musical. 3) Local club DJ is on the nod again; fell on the repeat button. 4) You really, like, you know, like BEATS, like really, you know? 5) You are part of an elite cadre of specially trained super-critics capable of withstanding the aggravating entreaties and mind-softening thumps and squeals of sub-mediocre Euro dance fodder. No need to thank us. It’s our job.

Doug Robertson: Right, let’s get this straight: I love Cascada. They are resolutely unfashionable, all their songs essentially sound the same and, when you get right down to it, they possess about as much substance as candyfloss but, like candyfloss, they provide a sugar-sweet high of such deliciousness that it’s easy to ignore all the obvious flaws. Too much would rot both your teeth and your brain, but as an occasional blast of high-energy, fluoro-tastic fun that stands out from the crowd there really is no-one better. Just listening to this makes me wish I had glowsticks instead of hands.

Pete Baran: Was a little worried at the start that Cascada were continuing to “develop” after “Evacuate The Dancefloor”; luckily, all is rescued by the chorus where the same old beat and the same old synth kicks in. The near random “Dangerous” samples leap out at you as glitches, but are also the only thing that makes it interesting.

Chuck Eddy: If you stuck this on, say, Music For a Hot Body (TSR, 1984), it’d probably fit fine among all the Hazell Dean and Pamala Stanley and Evelyn Thomas and Fun Fun Hi-NRG, but it would also be the least distinctive cut. So I’m torn.

Anthony Miccio: Not sure what makes the subject of the song so dangerous (aside from his blinding high beams), and judging the lack of fear in her voice, I’m guessing the singer doesn’t either.

Martin Skidmore: I wish Natalie were a little more… what? Distinctive? Divaish? I don’t know, but she stays too anonymous. As usual, they are in the vicinity of that Eurodance hands-in-the-air sweet spot, and indeed they may hit it, though a pointless overdubbed male voice and some weak moments mitigate against that.

Alex Ostroff: The pure unadulterated cheese of these ingredients won me over on “Everytime We Touch”, but “Dangerous” lacks an equally strong hook, and doesn’t really hold up. That said, if anyone has to fill this niche, it may as well be them.

Rodney J. Greene: The part before it starts properly boshing is nicely dramatic, but anything meaty or saucy thereafter is coated in an inpenetrable layer of queso.

Ian Mathers: Remember the halcyon days of, err, Monday, when I said that at least “Bad Boys” had the best lyrics you could expect from the genre? “Dangerous” is a great example of how dumb these sorts of “I want you but I *gasp* SHOULDN’T!” songs usually are, and the music is about as brainless.

Martin Kavka: The odd thing about this single is that it tries to be something more than just disposable retro-90s dancepop. There’s a narrative — it’s about danger! — but even the most ridiculous Ace Of Base tracks had better-storyboarded plot than this, and the backing track just isn’t delicious enough to make me not care about its senselessness. (On my notepad: “Re ‘I’m blinded by your eyes’ — do they spurt out acid?”)

Additional Scores

Hillary Brown: [4]
Anthony Easton: [4]
Alfred Soto: [4]

One Response to “Cascada – Dangerous”

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