Monday, October 13th, 2014

Jennifer Lopez ft. Iggy Azalea – Booty (Remix)

As we speak, Thugnificent is readying a comeback…


Katherine St Asaph: Lopez clearly wants it to be 2001, and Diplo (who is sampled) wants all eras to be context-free potpourri, which is why this takes the bubble sounds from a She’kspere track, a Middle Eastern motif from Timbaland, trance and military drums from EDM then and now. It’s a sloppy mess, an infuriatingly peppy meme, like an endless GIF presented to ogle; everyone’s going to ascribe the problem to Lopez and Iggy’s respective personalities, but I blame the producers. Someday soon we as critics will have to reckon with the uncomfortable yet present trend of Iggy Azalea becoming the best thing on her singles, but this really isn’t the time.

Thomas Inskeep: For someone as big a star as J.Lo is — she’s still a star, right? — Lopez has a remarkable personality deficit. At least Iggy Azalea can provide some, even if she can’t offer much else. (I mean, really, you had to reference “Jenny from the Block”?) The production on this isn’t bad, though that’s due more to the Diplo sample which kinda subsumes everything, more than the actually studio work.

Crystal Leww: On the original “Booty,” Pitbull rapped “I wanna take that big ol’ booty shopping at the mall/I wanna pick it up and put that booty in my car,” and it was the most romantic thing I’d heard in 2014. He has been replaced here by Yung Vegemite, and I’ve never been sadder in my entire life.

Will Adams: As if the original’s tunelessness weren’t embarrassing enough, this remix enlists the “help” of nobody’s favorite feature rapper to bumble through a verse that will give anything to remind you of J.Lo’s status as a booty-haver circa 2001. It’s as desperate as you’d expect any of J.Lo’s post-“On the Floor” output to be.

Maxwell Cavaseno: After having one of her best singles in forever with “On the Floor” not so long ago, and “I Luh Ya Papi” being… OK, not great, but charming, instead we get this lopsided stomper. I’m just going to re-watch El Cantante, Google pics of her and Puffy, and YouTube the infamous n-word drop. Because I don’t think any of those embarrassments were quite as tiring as here.

Alfred Soto: How they must rue the day Meghan Trainor charted. Yet its bubblepop electrics are crasser and hence less fraught than Trainor’s pandering.

Jonathan Bradley: J-Lo jacks a beat from the Egyptian-themed levels of one of the Lemmings games for a song about a butt. Rappers have been objectifying Lopez’s posterior for years, and somehow she’s late to the party.

Jonathan Bogart: Year of the Butt? As I recall, it was 2001, when the leering element of popwatching was all partisan towards either the lead singer of a Houston R&B group or a Nuyorican dance diva-cum-romcom star. Fourteen years later, in the same season in which Beyoncé and Nicki Minaj present a unified ass theory of feminism, flawlessness, and bad-bitchery, J. Lo teams up with the least convincing Minaj imitator to create an anthem centering the male gaze and flattering (one cartoonish version of) the male appetite. Props for mixing the wibble-wobble sound effect relatively low, I guess.

Brad Shoup: I’m tired of these booty results songs, y’all. Gimme a booty-process song: something like “RariWorkOut” but with more genealogical content. What’s the diet? What’s the gym routine? Mirror time, pants-shopping, looking up Official Twerk Team vids on YouTube: all that. This is fine, mind. It’s the kind of explicit dancefloor summoning that Lopez makes sound like some royal obligation, and Iggy gets credit for the “that only wanna make me wanna tell all my ladies…” part. The slightly-pitched up chant is crying to be on some Miami bass or footwork track, but it — like me — is stuck where it is.

Josh Langhoff: While our most nakedly careerist singer hops aboard summer’s bootywagon, her several producers eke incremental innovations in the field of booty. (Hang on, nightmare visions of someone — probably Diplo — making a Sting-sampling “Fields of Booty,” help.) Like, not only do they include the requisite taut bouncy drums that represent booty? But they’ve also got the sound of booty scraping against chimes?

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6 Responses to “Jennifer Lopez ft. Iggy Azalea – Booty (Remix)”


  2. +1000 to that

  3. I didn’t coin “yung Vegemite”; it was Janea aka @pterosaur on twitter

  4. also the amazing kyrell (unimpressed2chainz on tumblr/@imbobswaget) coined “iggy iguana”

  5. Katherine – I’ll happily concede she’s the rotten olive atop the “No Mediocre” shit sandwich.

    Josh –

  6. (Josh L., that is)