Battling it out with Example for that number five spot…

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[5.40]

Chuck Eddy: So, are they retooling the S.O.S. Band version, or just the Beats International one? Not even sure I’ve heard the latter — Amazed to learn it got to #76 in the States; guess that almost makes it Fat Boy Slim’s first hit, seeing how the Housemartins got shut out. Anyway, it’s always been a fairly foolproof hook, and the Prof comes off vigorous enough. Lily could’ve been put to better use, but this has some okay energy to it.
[6]

Anthony Easton: Who made Lily Allen’s coat, and what happened to her Chanel contract? Points for how she sings “reputation”.
[4]

Martin Skidmore: Lily sweetly sings the chorus from “Just Be Good To Me”, and the Professor raps in his grime style, which makes me smile. The bubbling synths give some depth to the bright sound, and I like it all.
[8]

Doug Robertson: There are many, many reasons why this should be rubbish — the presence of Lily Allen being the most pressing of these — but the end result is so blatantly stupid that only someone whose fun gland was removed at the same time as their tonsils would begrudge its existence. It clearly thinks its darker and cleverer than it actually is, but the — technical term coming up here — farty electro of the backing track stops it getting mired in a bog of self indulgence.
[7]

Frank Kogan: Lily is totally fetching, simultaneously coy and poignant, and I’m damned if I know how she pulls this off, again and again, seemingly in control while totally vulnerable. Professor Green’s own vocals are effectively harried, and the beat is strong, even if the horror-house effects are superfluous; but I’d like to have heard him just let Lily carry this, let her sing the SOS Band song and not try to match her in feeling.
[8]

Alfred Soto: The mocking Lily Allen is the vocalist least qualified to sample The S.O.S. Band’s agonized “Just Be Good to Me”. As for Green, his bluster can’t match Dizzee Rascal’s.
[3]

Pete Baran: Lily’s voice does not suit this, and her similarity in delivery to Lindy Layton does her no favours. But as a re-imagining of a previous patchwork remix, it is surprisingly successful. Green is lousy when he is responding to her pre-recording lines, but has a surprisingly powerful flow in his own verses, which justifies the self-aggrandising name change of the track. Terrible on paper, but if David Jacobs were here, I’d say Hit, and be pleased to say so.
[7]

Hazel Robinson: Inexcusably cheap on every level. Either that or I’ve just hit that age where I get angered by people rapping over my favourite songs.
[2]

Katherine St Asaph: So you’re saying I can listen to the S.O.S. Band, get the same melody sung better without the electro-rote backing, and not have to hear Professor Green?
[3]

Kat Stevens: On his last 20-year-old-hit-sampling whinge about his lovelife, Professor Green created an excellent character who bragged about his indifference to a girl and then immediately caved in when she rang him up, uselessly protesting to the listener that he wasn’t normally that much of a soppy wuss. It’s not quite the same story here: Green keeps up the pretense of bad boy arrogance but instead of taking the piss out of himself, he directs his sneering pity at the poor girl who loves him even though he’s being such an idiot. Lily’s sweet delicate vocal might well be able to tame the savage beast eventually, but she seems to be losing patience with occasional sulky interjections of “whatever”. Or perhaps she’s only still hanging around on the off-chance that Green might say “tank fly boss walk jam nitty gritty”.
[6]