And this is how the British do it…

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[5.57]

Martin Skidmore: There are all sorts of genres and influences here — its disco-y sounds resemble some Talking Heads, and there are hints of all kinds of modern dance sounds in the mix. Sadly it features some dreadful indie band, starring a singer who can’t hold a tune to save his life, so the brightness of much of the music has all the life and joy sucked out of it. Is there an instrumental version without the no-hoper group?
[3]

Katherine St Asaph: Is this some kind of reverse sobriety test? Where all these disparate pieces glom together at the right hour with the right drink? I can’t think of any other explanation.
[5]

Iain Mew: Mystery Jets’ thing has generally been being kind of ramshackle in a multitude of ways, so trying to tie them into something smooth is an interesting experiment. It succeeds in a sense, but in rendering them totally unrecognisable it’s difficult to see what they’re really bringing to this. Certainly I don’t really care about the song; a version with greater emphasis on the busy partying percussion would appeal more.
[5]

Frank Kogan: OK funk w/ a very good tune and self-consciously sloppy and lunkheaded vocals, which make no sense to me — and I’ve spent my life in awe of singers who’ve creatively destroyed received ideas of good singing, from Jagger, Johansen, and Lunch to Spears, Fenty, and Swift. But I just don’t know what the singing on “After Dark” does for the song, unless the intent is to demystify the night by inhabiting it with ear-aching stumblebums. Er, and I kinda like this anyway, getting drawn in as “the dark” echoes through the dim morning, painfully and, I guess, evocatively.
[6]

Anthony Easton: A booty call anthem so hooky it might as well grab vaudeville performers with a giant cane.
[8]

Doug Robertson: Well having a hook is all well and good, but if it doesn’t take you anywhere once you’re reeled in is there really much point in applying the bait? The feelings of night time sleaze and adventure soon gives way to the post midnight monotony of motorway driving. The same things flick past again and again, and the novelty of seeing them draped in shadow soon begins to pall.
[5]

John Seroff: If you’re going to release a Vampire-Weekend-trend-rider single, it helps a lot if the finished product sounds better than the best VW has to offer. “After Dark” is solid pop rhumba with a shouty chorus and ska guitar that somehow doesn’t sour or turn into corn no matter how much thumb piano and cowbell you throw at it. And is that Charlie Day at the judges’ table? That’s gotta be worth an extra point.
[7]