The Singles Jukebox

Just for one weekend.

[Video][Website]
[4.70]

Edward Okulicz: I’m not sure if rating this without the incredible visuals or a bunch of sweaty Europeans all around me makes sense, but “Heroes” works in any context. Calculated and cynical it is, but with a subtle lyric about self-acceptance wedded to an extremely unsubtle EDM monster, it can’t miss on headphones, kills in a schlager club setting and it felt near-spiritual on Saturday. Not my favorite, and not the one I wish were blowing up radios, but a primer of what a good amount of European pop and Eurovision anthems sounds like.
[8]

Abby Waysdorf: The thing about Eurovision is, it hasn’t lingered for sixty years  because it’s a Big Event full of bizarre camp (although it often is that). It’s stayed because, compared to competitor pop talent shows, it’s the most complete contest of its kind. Whether you like the songs or agree with the results, winning requires success in pretty much the entire range of contemporary pop: it has to be performed live well, taking into consideration staging (lighting, costume design), choreography, voice on the night, the performer’s charisma, and it has to be a decent (enough) song that appeals to a wide audience at first or second listen. No covers, no “Disco Night,” and only sometimes drawing upon well-known narratives of the performer (which might be why it doesn’t tend to produce pop stars, but that’s for a different essay). A Eurovision winner has to get points on all of this, which is why it’s always hard to judge “just the song” off a studio version that doesn’t take the context into account. As far as “just the song” goes, “Heroes” certainly isn’t a zero — it would definitely be my favorite Avicii song — and it’s catchy and contemporary, and not a damn ballad. On the night it was well-staged (great gimmick with the backing projections, although I found the stick-boys hokey) and Måns is a handsome, charismatic man who hit the choreography and the notes perfectly. It’s not my favorite Eurovision performance, not even of the night, but it’s far from my least favorite winner, and I can’t argue it wasn’t deserved. As I said before the event started, I am fine with a Sweden win. Still, though, let’s try harder next year, Europe. 
[7]

Anthony Easton: I would have preferred if this kept as a Euro remake of ’60s kitsch story songs, and at the beginning Marty Robin’s vocal suggested real potential. But, like most of Eurovision this year, it descends into an electronically focused ballad, and I’m bored. 
[3]

Micha Cavaseno: From drawls and Linkin Park wails to disco strings, a whole lot of drama and effort to bore us to tears.
[2]

Iain Mew: On the night, a fussily staged David Guetta remake was unappealing next to some of the delights on offer. On record, it’s a slightly different matter. There’s an exquisite build behind the first chorus that got lost on stage, twangs and strings unfurling while Zelmerlöw floats above with an easy authority that the singers in similar songs rarely achieve. There’s at least one too many iterations of the chorus, but it’s not such a bad winner after all.
[6]

Alfred Soto: “The song was the child of David Guetta‘s “Lovers on the Sun” and Avicii‘s “The Nights,” according to the Wiki. No, someone else said: Coldplay meets Avicii. If this dude’s going to sell inspirational bumper stickers he needs a euphoric hook.
[3]

Brad Shoup: Not even country respects country, and it was the release of “Timber” when I realized how badly I wanted pop to strap on the shitkickers. It’s been happening, no doubt: we’ve referenced Rednex — the clever cornponers who found all kinds of puns in the term “square dance” — four times since then, in Wang Rong and Avicii and AronChupa and (I did it this time) Andy Grammer. On my drive home today I heard “Just Can’t Get Enough”, for the first time, as a bluegrass song, but some folks knew this years ago. Zelmerlöw’s brand is the self-serious kind, a shuffling-triplet cross between Morricone and peak Garth Brooks. This being Eurovision and 2015, EDM ties the package up; once the twang distinguishes the tune, ponderous piano rides in. It’s not fun, no ma’am, but pop’s pitching a wide tent over country, and I couldn’t be happier.
[5]

Scott Mildenhall: Since 2011 Sweden have been in an imperial phase of Eurovision entries, and in selecting the best song, best gimmick, best performance and one of the best looking competitors of this year’s contest gave themselves every chance of achieving their second victory in that time. Naturally, faced with the heady concoction of a compelling 21st century reimagination of La Linea and the fulfilled potential of syllable extension, Europe plumped for… the aimless Italian entry. Or at least the public, whose votes comprised 50% of the final calculations did. So that’s what jury scoring is for.
[8]

Mo Kim: A call to heroism with about as much weight as an empty bag of Cheetos.
[3]

Thomas Inskeep: I can sum up this slab of Eurocheese for you easily: Adam Lambert as a straight man (i.e. less interesting on every level, no offense to the heterosexuals in the audience). From song structure and lyrical content to vocal stylings, based on this song, Zelmerlöw is a pale xerox of Glambert.
[2]