Thursday, November 5th, 2015

DNCE – Cake by the Ocean



John Seroff: Notable low points: trying too hard to make fetch happen (“cake by the ocean” is such a painfully strained semi-metaphor), the second most repellant music video with The Fat Jew I’ve seen this year, “I’ll be Diddy / You’ll be Naomi”, “Funfetti / I’m ready”, not realizing that the only thing missing from DNCE is U. Were all those boy band years just a smokescreen for a suppressed desire to be this century’s Sublime? Say it ain’t so Joe.

Katherine St Asaph: DUNCE here is a brazen attempt to resuscitate Joe Jonas’s dead career now that Nick is an actual chart presence and falsetto-funk accepts just about anyone. The band hits a groove and wears it down to a ruined screw.

Thomas Inskeep: It may be a band instead of a solo gig, but either way, Joe Jonas is following the family blueprint of going full Timberlake in ’15. Lightly funky, danceable pop, but what the fuck does “we’ll eat cake by the ocean” mean? And the tossed-off profanities reek of “I’m not a JoBro anymore.” 

Will Adams: The title phrase suggests the midpoint of luxury and debauchery until you realize that it’s totally non-applicable and no one does that unless it’s some LA kid’s birthday party. Everything else — plastic groove, shoehorned expletives — follows the same trajectory.

Alfred Soto: I’m tempted to rate this higher because Joe Jonas cursing over the gentlest of funk riffs is one thing, but shouting CAKE BY THE OCEAN in a weedy falsetto is batshittery undreamt of by Adam Levine.

Madeleine Lee: Wow, this disco-guitars-and-hi-hat sound really has not changed at all since 2010, but with the ubiquity of “Shut Up and Dance” I guess it’s still current to somebody. I like the part at the end where they just name flavours of cake, since I’m desperate for anything that suggests that the cake is not a metaphor but actual cake.

Natasha Genet Avery: Despite only having a handful of singles and performances to their name, DNCE’s emergent trademark is showcasing Jonas’ weak upper range.

Patrick St. Michel: Is this just really catchy in spite of its dumb lyrics, or in reality is a pretty so-so “Sugar” substitute made more memorable by its goofball words? I’m leaning towards the latter with every additional listen, and get the sense the song’s strongest element is how it can get extra attention from outlets wondering “what the, cake by the ocean, crazy!”

Brad Shoup: I’ll give them this: it sounds like Cake. But if I picked up a shell that offered this many stupid rhymes, I’d punt it into the sea.

Reader average: [3.16] (6 votes)

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8 Responses to “DNCE – Cake by the Ocean”

  1. “”Working on the record, these Swedish producers that we were working with kept confusing ‘sex on the beach’ with ‘cake by the ocean'” Joe-Jo spilled to MTV, “Then, it became this kind of lyrically wacky song, and it kind of embodies the band.”

  2. I can’t believe this

  3. Tha Sangles Jakebax?


  5. omg the singles jakebox

  6. umm the singles joshbox tyvm

  7. agreed

  8. it’s a movement