The Singles Jukebox

Pop, to two decimal places.

Ed Sheeran – You Need Me, I Don’t Need You

He thinks he’s this. He’s more like this.


[Video][Website]
[2.56]

Brad Shoup: Oh, England. Love the Mraz we gave you. This one’s like a bizarro Kanye statement of purpose — instead of getting the Roc chain at a Hova show, it’s opening for Damien Rice. Living the dream! I’ll give him the elevator line, but this is so much skitterish tension for naught. “My mind will always be stronger than my songs are” — let’s hope not, son.
[4]

Ian Mathers: Endlessly punchable, hacky, protesting too much, unjustifiably boastful, full-of-himself muppet writes horrible song about how awesome he is, based around the effortlessly refutable idea found in the title. He then hires what appears to be the grown-up version from one of those sad kids from kitschy velvet paintings to mime through the video. Absolutely no redeeming value to be found.
[0]

Jer Fairall: Like if Jason Mraz tried to become the Streets.
[2]

Anthony Easton: I really like the acoustic version of this; this one has a little too much going on, without much purpose. 
[6]

Jonathan Bogart: Reaction one: Oh, fuck, Jamie T is back. Reaction two [having checked the iPod]: Oh, shit, him again. Reaction three: Oh, hell, I’d rather hear Jamie T.
[2]

Edward Okulicz: There’s actually nothing wrong with this on a technical/proficiency level. His rapping is fine; there’s nothing obviously deficient about his flow. The problem is that the quality of his actual words and the uninteresting backing he sounds like a dimwit busker busting some forgettable rhymes while his mate strums gormlessly beside him. The point I’m making here is that it’s impressive to sound like two people, but sounding like two dimwits ain’t very fun to listen to.
[3]

Alfred Soto: Give this kid a better beat and he might record a better “Every Morning” next summer. 
[4]

Zach Lyon: Really, is a [insert descriptive adjective that might set him apart from anyone else… nope, I got nothing] singer-songwriter releasing a sort-of rap song about himself and his success (with straightforwardness you’d probably never find in his usual output) that much different from a casino owner doing the same?
[1]

Katherine St Asaph: Right back at you, jackass.
[1]

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