ZOMG!

[Video]
[5.40]

Katherine St Asaph: Jesus, we’re ripping off LMFAO already? I expect a hit-like song or group called ROFL within two years; in five, we’re gonna have to get into Parent Over Shoulder. Kenzie May sounds scarcely removed from the 2010s new-baby announcements her name could be on.
[3]

Brad Shoup: This is a compacted little gem, with marvelous kick and those burrowing synths. Vocal fuckery is kept to a minimum, letting J send his kinetic flow (and Katy B shoutouts) in peace. And it’s nice to hear Kenzie May, of all people, flex this nasty on the hook. J2K’s been declared “underrated” enough that he could print the word on his business cards, but hopefully this takes him beyond all that.
[8]

Alfred Soto: A would-be club hit? A parody of hits? I don’t know what to do with Kenzie’s moronic vocal other than to conclude that’s intentional, which gets me nowhere. What’s real: the denseness of the bottom end.
[3]

Andy Hutchins: If you’re putting an F that stands for fuck in your title, you better well deliver it. Impossible to hear the generic rapping under the too-loud synth, which might actually help.
[4]

Zach Lyon: You need to withhold having an opinion on this song until you blast it out of your car at 11 a.m. on your way to get a bagel.
[6]

Ian Mathers: The best way to listen to this song is to turn your speakers up a little louder than is really comfortable. Then it sounds like you’re in a loud club and you might be trying to talk to your friend but you can’t hear each other and some British guy is yelling, and someone else is singing “I don’t know about you, but I’ma do what the fuck I like,” and she sounds pretty convincing and you didn’t really have that much to say to your friend anyway, so you both just go back to dancing again. Is there a specific dance for this song? It feels like there should be.
[8]

Jonathan Bogart: I’d love to hear more bugalú in it than a couple of namechecks, but then I’m not mad when “Sultans of Swing” doesn’t have any horns in it, so whatever.
[6]

Michaela Drapes: The beat is utterly filthy. The lyrics are too, putting any U.S. “in the club” business to shame. The grime sites tout this as a “feel-good summer jam”, but if getting that catatonically wasted and doing whatever the fuck you like is your definition of “feel-good”, that’s just a teensy bit problematic. But I gather the U.K.’s just waking up to that one.
[7]

Jer Fairall: Bounds forth with such furious momentum in its verses that it’s a damn shame it had to be attached to such a stupid, Fergie-grade hook. Do chorus-free remixes ever happen?
[6]

Edward Okulicz: Novelty pop songs, even ones that are actively trying to be something other than novelty pop songs, can basically fuck right off.
[3]