The Singles Jukebox

Bit of a warning – today’s screengrabs are a bit rubbish…

[Video][Myspace]
[3.40]

Michaelangelo Matos: Crossbreeding Akon’s “Don’t Matter” and Justin’s “My Love”: thank heavens somebody finally thought of that.
[3]

Rodney J. Greene: A combination of Timberlake’s trance leads, Akon’s ’80s soft-rock leanings, and T-Pain’s autotune that wouldn’t have been novel in March 2007, let alone 3 years later.
[4]

Iain Mew: If this type of electro sound continues to take over all pop music I don’t think I’d be too upset, but in this case while pleasant it isn’t a great fit. Unable to supply a step up to the intended emotional leap of the chorus, everything ends up oddly flattened out and mundane. It’s far too easy to listen to the whole thing and take it that nothing of great import has happened.
[5]

Alfred Soto: If some dude wants to get soppy he can do worse than do it over “My Love” sawtooth synths. If he wants to sing, though, he should call Usher.
[3]

John Seroff: This isn’t even the best song currently on the radio with a “my name” chorus; Trey’s “Neighbors Know My Name” does better by a country mile. The shaky synths, lackadaisical handclap beat, undistinguished uber-smooth vocals and too-shiny overproduction are all CGI sizzle and no steak; after one listen, I thought I’d already heard it a dozen times. After a dozen listens, I wasn’t certain I’d heard it yet at all. If you really crave gentle, anonymous susurration, may I recommend holding a shell to your ear instead?
[2]

Martin Skidmore: Wiki tells me he’s a fan of vintage soul: “I love the soul men and women from then – Otis Redding, Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder, Aretha, Minnie Ripperton and Bros.” This (excepting that last one, oddly) means his style sits well with me, but he’s not remotely in that class as a singer, a little dull and weak outside a very narrow range. I do like the shuddering synth backing, as I did on so many Timbaland singles, and the song is decent. I can imagine a much better R&B singer (let’s say R. Kelly) making this very good indeed, but it ends up a little tedious.
[5]

Chuck Eddy: I don’t think she’ll want his name. Sorry, but it’s just not a very good one. Reminds me of Mr. Clean; is it supposed to remind me of “Detroit Leaning” instead? (See, I keep up with the lingo. I learned that one from a 1980 Pretenders song!)
[4]

Kat Stevens: I’m sure McLean thinks he’s being very generous in offering to give his name (and all his worldly possessions) to some girl he’s just met. But he’s so overcome with soppiness that he’s forgotten that she almost certainly already HAS a name, and probably isn’t going to swap it for a brand of toothpaste. Bonus points for the daft jewel-heist video, though.
[3]

Matt Cibula: Dude, don’t be hasty — you only have the one name to give away! And as long as you keep pumping out boring lowest-common-denominator stuff like this, it’s a name that will soon be lost to the sands of history.
[3]

Frank Kogan: Starts gooey sweet; then they take the sugar gun and spray a sugar goo finish atop the sugar goo; then they add frosting. Then they take a squeeze tube and spell out his name in glitter candy. Still tastes stale.
[2]