He won’t have to brag about having been on “Shake A Leg” anymore…
Pete Baran: In which the word “featuring” is given yet another rigorous work out. As much as I approve of grime supergroup (HA!) Roll Deep in theory, they are almost an afterthought on their record. Wiley and co drop some OK rhymes on about 15% of the track, which is otherwise a relatively inoffensive club banger. A Trojan horse to get Wiley to number one I think.
Edward Okulicz: Putting this out under the Roll Deep name is probably throwing some people for a loop because it has bugger all to do with grime. What it does have rather a lot to do with is being highly danceable, infectious, mindless, energetic, all those things pop music should be. Also, siren noises.
Iain Mew: I love the positivity and enthusiasm that runs through the evocation of unremarkable (on the surface) nights out here, particularly the reference to “late night shopping on a Thursday”. A shame, then, that the hook is so terrible that it would actually have been better if they’d just gone straight with “Heaven”.
Alfred Soto: For one moment I thought it was 2000, buying a Heineken at a straight bar, and elbowing through the crowd to rejoin my friends. This is the sort of song I would have heard.
Michaelangelo Matos: I was on the fence about this solely because it has a surface melodic similarity to Redbone’s “Come and Get Your Love,” which Real McCoy remade in 1995 as one of the great Eurodisco singles. (Compare the way Jodie Connor sings, “Gonna feel, real good,” to the way Real McCoy’s Karin Kasar sings, “If you want some, take some.”) Sadly, this British dork yammering all over the hook has nowhere near the same amount of cheese-suave that’s embedded in O-Jay’s sleazy German accent.
Martin Skidmore: The female vocal is nice enough, the music is bouncy, the chorus is catchy, the rapping is enjoyable in the way you’d expect, though given that they are a group of MCs, it’s surprising how small a part they play in my guess at the reasons for the success of this. It certainly hits the current formula for How to Have a Grime #1.
Alex Macpherson: The British tradition of seaside cheese makes me swear to emigrate.
Jonathan Bogart: Cultural imperialism is THE WORST, yet I can’t help thinking that everything that bores me about this song — its absolutely generic backing track, its anonymously dull hook, the self-conscious wordplay in the verses — would be improved if their non-union American equivalents were behind the wheel.
Katherine St Asaph: “I Gotta Feeling,” the clear spiritual precursor here, was inescapable on the radio last summer, and I’d drive home from work thinking they’re playing this on Monday; tonight’s not the night, nor is tomorrow night, so what’s the point? It’s even worse with this, since Roll Deep are more explicit about forgetting a lifeless 9-to-5 (if you’ll “come alive,” were you dead before?) with “late night shopping” and otherwise spending money — ensuring the whole process has to start over. They want me to have a real good time, but the situation here just seems sad. Or else my brain’s been pounded by the Eurotrance synths until it’s too busy begging for mercy to produce dopamine.
Chuck Eddy: “Late night shopping on a Thursday”?? That’s not “good times”, bro, that sounds like a pain — what, did you just remember a birthday at the last minute, or notice there were no eggs left for breakfast? Though when you do it in the West End, I think of the Pet Shop Boys. Yeah, I’m clueless about London. But your song is silly, and I like it. Maybe you and Jodie are the new Snap or something. So shop and bop ’til you drop.
Matt Cibula: All five of my points are for Jodie Connor in the video. I’m just being honest. #simoncowellvoice