Tuesday, June 8th, 2010

3OH!3 ft. Ke$ha – My First Kiss

From sea to shining sea…


Anthony Easton: Elementary school nostalgia that is made barely adult by the presence of booze; Ke$ha might not be the female 3oh!3, but they do work towards this middle ground of iconic silly/stupid pleasure — but it is pleasurable, and an equal pleasure regardless of gender.

Chuck Eddy: This is bubblegum 2010, obviously, and these people are experts — they’ve all done better, sure, yet somehow they consistently hit the right buttons. My only question is if there’s a goofy dance step that goes with the “and twist” parts.

Alfred Soto: Like “Jealous Fellas,” Gucci Crew II, and at least a dozen cut-rate freestyle and freestyle-influenced acts, I loved this so effortlessly that it defies description. Let me try: the Black Eyed Peas guitar crunch of the chorus and silly harmonies; Ke$ha once again reveling in her plasticity; “I wake up in the morning with the taste of your tongue.” It takes real talent to be this sleazy.

Katherine St Asaph: Forget abstinence class. Once the kids hear 3OH!3 making kissy-noises at each other, they’ll be lifelong celibates.

Doug Robertson: Do 3Oh!3 have anything else to offer other than the same playground beats and soaring synthy choruses again and again? I’m sure that sticking this resolutely to their formula is all part of the joke but it’s become so boring and predictable that it has all the entertainment value of listening to a comedian run through the same material over and over again, still expecting to get the laughs. Teaming up with a new girl is not the same as having a new idea.

Martin Skidmore: A bouncy enough number about a new relationship, with Ke$ha adding mild irritation value, but what puts me right off it is its air not of excitement about this new girl but of triumphalism.

Ian Mathers: Giving Ke$ha a full “ft.” for the five seconds of work she puts in here is kind of dumb, but for once with these two that’s the worst you can say. Praising “My First Kiss” for being neither grating (Ke$ha’s normal milieu) or outright offensive (3OH!3’s) would be a bit much, though, especially with a chorus so overdriven and dense it gives me a bit of a headache. About the best I can say is that it lessens my desire to punch everyone involved a little.

Jonathan Bogart: This is the second ft. Ke$ha in a row where she barely appears and doesn’t do anything particularly Ke$ha-y anyway. Still, as a 3OH!3 track, it’s respectably trashy, alternating between “My Boyfriend’s Back” handclaps and their usual frat-bosh in a way calculated to satisfy fans of neither. But they’ve never been about satisfaction, preferring provocation, and somehow make the camera-phone intimacy of “I’ve got you on my lips” sound unspeakably sleazy. And even if I don’t have any need to hear the song again, I’ve got to admire anyone who can inspire such automatic revulsion — no one outside of reality television works harder at being THE WORST than them.

Michaelangelo Matos: Hahaha OK, I know this one, yes, it’s been on in the background a couple of places. Or anyway the “ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh” part of the chorus has been. I don’t even dislike the verses. But the 3OH!3 dudes have no grace at all, and while I know everybrah is what they aim for, caring about him is beyond me at this point. Compared to them she’s a charm machine, and she’s nothing.

4 Responses to “3OH!3 ft. Ke$ha – My First Kiss”

  1. Another milestone in my newfound non-hatred of Ke$ha: it occurs to me that a point or so (just a point; I still hate this) could be added by MORE KE$HA.

  2. You have to ask yourself whether that indicates non-hatred of Ke$ha, or just even more hatred of 3!Oh!3! (I have no intention of scrolling back up the page to find out exactly how they punctuate their stupid name).

  3. Probably the former; when I dislike her lately, it’s whenever she’s the featured artist and ends up just parroting what the other guy already said — see Taio Cruz.

  4. I’m still not a fan of Ke$ha, but god she does not inspire the kind of seething hatred that these douches do. Skidmore, Bogart, and Matos are all very good on the reasons for their awfulness.