Thursday, September 28th, 2017

Blake Shelton – I’ll Name The Dogs

We’ll Score The Songs.


Katherine St Asaph: That’s cool. I’ll be here with: my own (pen) name; a fantastically named cat; money I’ve found (OK, that one’s unrealistic); a partner nevertheless, who doesn’t expect all-nominally-matchy everything; enough funny to find “more than the garden will grow” deeply, unintentionally hilarious (how it’s right next to the rooster crowing because get it, or how he buries it in the mix, as if at some level he knew it was a bad line); and enough smarts to reject both complementarian bullshit and the anodyne glurge it comes in.

Josh Langhoff: Musically, it’s a straight-down-the-middle fiddle country tune, built for modernity with some syncopated R&B (or at least “’80s Mercedes”) cadences in the second verse. Lyrically, it’s a tight-assed complementarian manifesto masquerading as easygoing dude’s dude coochie coo, maybe the prime example of the form since Pastor Mark Driscoll fled Seattle.

Katie Gill: Shelton’s innate goofiness and a catchy chorus can’t save a song that’s essentially Boring Stereotypical Country Music Heteronormativity. How many songs of “you’re a pretty girly girl, I’m a muscular manly man” do we really need?

Stephen Eisermann: Neotraditional is a good sound for Blake. This is his strongest single in a while without question, and his voice is the primary reason for that. Blake has always been a great vocalist surrounded by heavy production, but with a more laid back approach in the studio,  the warmth in his voice is given the opportunity to cradle lyrics like “sing you a song out there with the crickets and the frogs.” He provides color to what is otherwise a pretty bland country track. 

Alfred Soto: He’s a feistier singer than when he sported a mullet. Anger suits him. Now that he’s calmed down he’s back to peddling bullshit like “You’ll be the pretty and I’ll be the funny.” Blake, I’ve heard your jokes and idea of wordplay

Edward Okulicz: Shorter Shelton: I have rigid gender roles and am a cornball. The song bounds along like an eager-to-please puppy, but lines like “you be the pretty and I’ll be the funny” make me want to kick it in the face.

Alex Clifton: I’ll steal those dogs if I have to listen to this song ever again, Blake. You don’t deserve them.

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One Response to “Blake Shelton – I’ll Name The Dogs”

  1. @Katherine you’re my hero