The Singles Jukebox

You can’t see it but we’ve circled the title in red pen and written “SEE ME” at the bottom of this post…

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Alfred Soto: It’s he and I, Halsey, and I hope it’s not the influence of the dopey guy holding on to your arm and calling you “bitch” on this would-be “You’re All I Need to Get By.” 
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Ryo Miyauchi: G-Eazy once again rests too comfortable upon pop touchstones without actually providing much of his own insight. He rides entirely on the back of the too-frequently-borrowed book of 2Pac’s “Me & My Girlfriend” to speak on his intensely loyal partner or his erratic personality; the supposedly one-of-a-kind relationship owes its banner hook to OutKast’s “Aquemini.” The most revealing thing is that he’s a “crazy fucking Gemini,” though it still remains a symbol hollow as “2017 Bonnie and Clyde.”
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Will Adams: I can forgive the ill-fitting comparison to the Bonnie & Clyde reboot from fifteen years ago. But it’s harder to overlook the “with Halsey” feature credit that reduces her to a dead-eyed chorus.
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Iain Mew: Halsey shows again why she’s one of the best hook singers of the moment, instantly giving so much more personality than the material deserves. The yawning atmospherics backing G-Eazy aren’t quite enough to make me care about his plotting his funeral, but Halsey gives a spark of something else. Her giggle even steals one of the verses.
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Katie Gill: When you put two artists who I don’t like on a song to begin with, this means I’m naturally predisposed to dislike this song, but WOW is this bad. With awkward phrasing, awkward lyrics, the most awkward censorship attempt that’s somehow even MORE awkward when performed live, there’s not much going for this song. G-Eazy’s lack of flow and needless dumb bro rap are here in spades, and Halsey just sleepwalks her way through her chorus.
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Micha Cavaseno: A kind of dull, one-note affair of “love” in its self-absorption that would’ve been a little better had there been some transcending beyond the whole “Girl Part Boy Part” format. The common link here actually is that both Halsey and Gerald have a thread in Drakkonian solipsistic preening, but whereas one of them managed to turn that into a kind of navel gazing that breaks one’s back, all G-Eazy can do is look and sound like a stuffed vulture. I hope the rumours of their relationship turn out to be and end in the inevitable disintegration that would emerge, because in a similar pattern I expect a soulless, cretinous idiot’s failures like his to inspire a lot of disgust in Halsey to power a really good album. And y’know uh, I’m sure Gerald will like, talk about how he deserves better or whatever.
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Katherine St Asaph: THE SIGNS AS DEPRESSINGLY HYPED WHITE RAPPERS:
Aries: The giggle that censors “cut my dick off,” yet paradoxically ensures Top 40 radio gets a whisper of Lorena Bobbitting.
Taurus: The subject of G-Eazy’s verse whose style is YSL, mink and silk, i.e. not Halsey at all. Given that G-Eazy’s already on record serenading Britney with a verse blatantly written for Ariana Grande, who was this actually for? And what does this say about the supposed extramusical loooove branding? (A Taurus would ask these things.)
Gemini: “The accompanying music video begins with the line: “They were stars on this stage. Each playing to an audience of two,” a F. Scott Fitzgerald quote from the Beautiful and the Damned.”
Cancer: The overblown emo of Madison Love-via-Halsey’s chorus, which is touching if you forget it’s on a G-Eazy song.
Leo: “My funeral will be lit.”
Virgo: The fact that it should be “him and me.”
Libra: The fact that She & Him screwed the grammar up better, and also beat this in Google search results.
Scorpio: G-Eazy only wishes this song had anything Scorpio.
Sagittarius: The off-chance that “They don’t wanna see us make it, they just wanna divide” is an Ed Sheeran subliminal.
Capricorn: 73 pop radio adds, over double the next single down (BTS)!
Aquarius: Halsey’s atmospheric keening and breathiness, unfortunately buried under G-Eazy’s verses.
Pisces: Hopeless Fountain Kingdom, which contains all the good parts (Halsey) and none of the bad (G-Eazy).
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