Monday, July 12th, 2010

Colbie Caillat – I Never Told You

Her career is proving surprisingly durable. We still don’t much like her, though…


Alfred Soto: Caillat’s a rare bird: is any third-string singer (in the U.S. at any rate) so strenuous about staying on the middle of the road? “Strenuous” is itself too “strenuous.”

Michaelangelo Matos: Pleasant slow-tempo soft-rock sound is about a [5]. The singing, discreetly not-quite-pained as it is, is about a [4]. My final grade reflects the lyric, every single line of which is equally dumb and useless and cliched. You’d think she grew up in showbiz and not the real world or something.

Martin Skidmore: It’s a simple, sweet song, and I’m not sure the production, by co-writer Kara Dioguardi, which leans heavily towards the power ballad, is right. I think I’d have liked this better as a folkier, more country number, maybe just Colbie and an acoustic guitar. Nonetheless, I do like the song, and she’s a pretty good singer, and her breaths in this are particularly effective.

Anthony Easton: I would kill to hear Crystal Shawanda cover this, but we mark what we get, and this has a solid pass.

John Seroff: My general antipathy for Caillat starts in my toes and crinkles my nose; the last thing I want or need on my radar is a cubic-zirconium quality Jewel. “I Never Told You” is as goopy as “Bubbly” but far more unctuously produced and grandly overwrought; it’s montage-fodder for folks who want the crust cut off their white bread and american cheese sandwiches.

Katherine St Asaph: Wikipedia thinks this is “power-pop”. I challenge someone, anyone, to find a half-volt of power in here, or an iota of emotion that wouldn’t be covered by a seascape Hallmark card reading “miss you”, or a person who can say they full-out, clingingly love this. I’ll wait.

Jonathan Bogart: Tidy, airbrushed perfection. It has everything it needs, but nothing I want.

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