Wait, exactly how did he land Miranda again?

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[5.67]

Anthony Easton: Shelton is a solid writer, and he tends to express himself in ways that people actually speak (i.e using the word prick in an attempt to neg the girl he’s trying to fuck–in fact, he is one of the few country performers working today that I get the impression is actually trying to fuck the subject in question). It’s not a sympathetic track, and it makes me feel uncomfortable, but I don’t know how straight boys seduce straight girls, so take that into account. 
[7]

Katherine St Asaph: The perfectly pleasant pick-up song that undoubtedly led to the perfectly pleasant booty call in “Need You Now.” I kind of like this world of feathery euphemisms and gendered drinks. The bars probably all have canopies, and he’ll leave a blanket and tea before he doesn’t call.
[6]

Iain Mew: Blake’s voice helps the whole song but it’s the musical lift into the urgency of “This place is closing down but I don’t want to quit” and the way he settles seamlessly back into relaxed easiness, all augmented with wonderful pedal steel, which most won me over. “Maybe later on we can sleep on it” is a stretch for a not very good pun and I don’t remember rocket science ever sitting next to religion and politics (things you shouldn’t bring up in polite conversation?) before, but Blake has more than earned the leeway.
[7]

Alfred Soto: He had me on the think on it/sleep on it couplet and lost me when he wants to order her another Cosmo. A facile songwriting trope — women don’t drink gin or bourbon? But that’s our Blake: a stolid fellow confused by wit but with enough brains to appreciate the patina of smarts it gives his pickups. Maybe that’s how he thinks he landed Miranda. Meanwhile the rest of us think it was “Who Are You When I’m Not Looking.”
[6]

Brad Shoup: Sorry, buddy, but he’s not the only prick. I feel like country has enough of these shit-eating wolves flexing their game, but country disagrees. Also, I have never noticed a Cosmo being ordered in a country bar. I’m sure it happens, but putting it in the song raises flags. The track trots along with prominent bass and languid guitar lines, playing the soft-sell to Blake’s frantic deal-closing. The closing six-string chime sounds like an alarm bell: run, girlllllllll.
[3]

Edward Okulicz: “We can sleep on it,” he croons, and the fault that torpedoes “Drink on It” becomes obvious: it has the melody of a lullaby on a song about an attempt at picking up a girl. Sounds like they’ll be sleeping head-to-toe if they share a bed.
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