The Singles Jukebox

Actually not his real name, so I’m holding out hopes he changes it to Bryce Snapchat.

[Video][Website]
[3.75]

Will Adams: I’d love to know which shitty A&R guy championed a central lyric this stupid, but even more I’d love to know at which point Bryce Vine, despite showing flashes of charisma, decided a central lyric this stupid would do the rest of the heavy lifting.
[4]

Alfred Soto: Upped a notch for dropping “ottoman” into a rap song, downed several notches for the brain damaged hook (“You’re the next Drew Barry/And I want more,” ugh).
[3]

Iain Mew: It hinges on a nonsense phrase that’s as half-baked as the rest of it sounds. In that spirit, maybe he should Drew Barry less.
[4]

Katherine St Asaph: I am not a lawyer, but recent precedent in music copyright case law suggests that SZA should sue for infringement. If not that, then for all of our sakes.
[3]

Stephen Eisermann: You ever start dating someone who just oozes confidence and swag and even if they aren’t the most attractive or intelligent or successful, they’re definitely the most charming? That is Bryce Vine in this song. The chorus and the play on Drew Barrymore’s name is lazy and childish, but he delivers each line with such sensuality and charm that it’s hard to fault him. Prior to first hearing this song, I had no idea who Bryce was or what he looked like, but through the song and his voice/delivery alone I was attracted to him. And when you release sexy songs like this, that’s a damn good talent to have.
[8]

Juan F. Carruyo: I was worried by the title that this song would turn out to be exploitative. Then the chorus hit: “You’re the next Drew Barry/and I want more” and I let out a sigh of relief, it’s merely cheesy and gross. 
[1]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Miguel’s “Do You…” except infinitely less smooth, charismatic, or convincing.
[2]

Julian Axelrod: Who knew Miguel and Wale’s misguided “Coffee” remix was so influential? Luckily, Bryce Vine shares the former’s knack for surreal imagery. (“Coffee on the flintstone/Jewelry on the ottoman” is a lovely couplet.) Unfortunately, he also shares the latter’s penchant for monstrously dumb puns like that titular clunker. And if you miss Wale’s braying horndog schtick, don’t worry: there’s a remix.
[5]