The Singles Jukebox

*Super Mario coin sound*

[Video][Website]
[7.60]

Julian Axelrod: If you love nitpicking and hate fun, there’s plenty of critiques you can volley at “Boys”: its bass-and-cowbell groove is maybe two steps removed from “SexyBack,” the message is a bit muddled, and Lizzo’s “gay boys” line is a head-scratcher that nearly stops the track in its tracks. But if you love funky, freaky summer bops featuring a face-melting guitar solo and one of our most singular pop stars flipping tired rap tropes into a gleeful bacchanalia, this is a glorious gift delivered from on high. Needless to say, I fall into the latter category.
[7]

Claire Biddles: One of our most charismatic pop stars doing a feature-length version of the “Boys, boys, all type of boys/Black, White, Puerto Rican, Chinese boys” line from “Work It” by Missy Elliott was only ever going to get one score from me.
[10]

Ashley John: “Boys” would be good enough just for the content itself but Lizzo’s delivery pushes it over the edge. Despite its wild sexuality, it reminds me of being fourteen and chugging a Dr. Pepper at my “cool” friend’s house whose parents would let us freely raid the fridge. “Boys” is tasting something so sickeningly desirable for the first time and deciding not to play it cool, but to ask for seconds.  
[7]

Stephen Eisermann: Only Lizzo can center a song that provides some awesome body positivity for men on her pleasure and she manages to do it with ease. There’s never a moment in this funky, sexy, commanding track where she isn’t entirely in control — of both her wordplay and the lyrical content — but what’s most impressive is how easily Lizzo slips and slides on the singing to rapping scale, having a ton of fun the entire time. It’s as palpable as her charm and it’s all delicious.
[9]

Alfred Soto: I like men too! Thanks, Lizzo! This finger-poppin’ throwback aimed at a friendly audience — imagine James Murphy producing Missy Elliott — makes no wider gestures of accommodation, though. 
[6]

Katherine St Asaph: Out-Princes Janelle Monáe, which I wouldn’t have thought even possible five months ago outside literal purple resurrection. Extra point for Lizzo’s inclusion of cheering for herself.
[7]

Will Rivitz: Unpopular opinion, maybe, but “Blurred Lines” was pretty good too. 
[7]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: I need a twelve-inch extended cut of this more than I have needed anything musical in my life.
[8]

William John: A bass line left alone with cowbell is a fire hazard; barely five seconds into “Boys” and the mercury has skyrocketed. Lizzo could’ve left those two elements alone to loop for an hour and we’d still have had a song of the summer contender, but she instead decides to get inventive and elevates their interplay to something else entirely. Transitioning ingeniously between inclusive fast talk (“big boys,” “itty-bitty boys,” “pretty boys,” and “gay boys” all get shout-outs) and a purr that’s both lusty and nonchalantly brash, her performance is so all-consuming that by the time the hedonistic guitar solo rolls around, we’re all throwing our heads back and screaming “crAZY!” along with her.
[9]

Will Adams: A majority fun: Lizzo commanding a streamlined Prince homage, including an explosive guitar solo — that’s occasionally tripped up by Fun™ — crowd cheer noise, a gang’s-all-here shout-out verse that quickly gets jumbled. “Boys” joins the pantheon of a pop microgenre that spans from Teen Witch to Charli XCX, and comes out as one of the better examples.
[6]