Thursday, August 9th, 2018

Juice WRLD – All Girls are the Same

Srsly STFU guy.


Micha Cavaseno: To his credit, his records aren’t all the same; getting progressively worse and worse is enough to distinguish them. Juice WRLD’s misanthropic juvenile dudebro “heartbreak” being the Ugly Kid Joe to a barely cooled corpse of Lil Peep demonstrates what happens when you let people with the lowest regards for rap and mallcore get away with patronizing kids. There’s no way Juice WRLD wrote a lyric like “Jealous Guy” like John Lennon by his damn self. Nobody has heard “Jealous Guy” on a radio in 30 years, let alone a Chicago rapper. The least he could do was have as good a loop as the Sting sample from “Lucid Dreams” but of course not.

Ryo Miyauchi: What’s the better route to present this kind of fatalist straight-male toxicity? Is it better to have rappers like Juice WRLD make it a sweeter pill to swallow, albeit with him not solving his rage but hiding it in a rather passive-aggressive form? Or heighten its acidic levels in the vein of Trippie Redd for the sake of honesty, opening up his hunger for violence and vengeance for all to see? I prefer to not experience either, but I’d like to hear its inherent ugliness directly inform the very music like “Love Scars” over Juice WRLD’s more palatable yet clinical pop. The joyful melody is a red herring to get you to listen closer only to redeem nothing positive, and I’d rather know upfront that there’s only bitterness to begin with.

Alfred Soto: He doesn’t get the “secret” of love, he doesn’t win races, John Lennon means “Real Love,” not “Imagine” — a weirdo, sure but a conventional sort. Honest about his antipathies, he’s taking Drake and The Weeknd to fresh toxic areas. Juice is a case study. Yet he almost transcends it thanks to his sad robot timbre. He knows why we cry, but it’s something he can never do.

Edward Okulicz: The lyric is actually “All these girls the same,” so Juice has made something of an error in taking his somewhat misogynistic song and giving it a really misogynistic title. And some other errors too. The pretty tinkling of the production is effective, and you can easily imagine a thoughtful or at least interesting and sad song about repeating mistakes in relationships over it. Juice’s ~~sad man~~ routine is not these things, though, it’s more of a numbed, boring ‘whatever’ on top. The girls may think the same about him.

Vikram Joseph: We all slammed Juice WRLD for being misogynistic last time; admittedly, it takes a certain kind of obnoxious chutzpah to double down with a song called “All Girls Are The Same”. I won’t bother quoting any lyrics, because 1) he’d probably like that and 2) they’re exactly how you imagine they’re going to be. This is a dire, hookless dirge and actually somehow even worse than “Lucid Dreams” – a bleak Incel pity party, minus any fucking semblance of a party.

Will Adams: This is so sad repugnant Alexa play Drake… nothing, actually. I’m good on music for now.

Reader average: [5] (2 votes)

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7 Responses to “Juice WRLD – All Girls are the Same”

  1. Y’all are heroes for blurbing this… I tried so hard to listen, got a minute in and hard-noped out.

  2. remember when Pitchfork gave this best new track

  3. I now feel like I gave him too much credit last time, even though I gave him a zero.

  4. Soundcloud rap supergroup “Bleak Incel Pity Party” likely to have the #1 hit of 2019 at this rate

  5. agreed with Alex; couldn’t bring myself to blurb this mess

  6. Excellent picture.

  7. i was really proud of this pic btw, so thanks!