Michaelangelo Matos: I know he wears that schoolboy tie in his photos sometimes, but why is he recording songs about being 9?
Doug Robertson: Sesame Street phoned, they want their song back.
Mallory O’Donnell: I feel Mark Ronson should at least be rewarded for pluck. In a time when everyone’s combining everything with its’ “you may also like,” this sounds so refreshingly off-trend that I have to assume the wonky muses are genuine, not googled. Whether or not it works is anyone’s guess.
Anthony Easton: Too much going on, and Ronson’s usual excellent ability to curate such disparateness into a singular metaphor leaves somewhere halfway into the second hip hop chorus, the one replete with one too many bicycle bells.
Pete Baran: Queen’s example notwithstanding, the bike bell is not a musical instrument. That it is not the most annoying thing in this Mark Ronson track goes to show how stuffed full of annoying things “The Bike Song” is. From the title onwards, its stab at The Small Faces meets Gnarls Barkley is ill conceived, and there seems little commitment to make this mess of ideas all work together. Not so much a car crash of bad ideas as one of those wipeouts you sometimes see in the Tour De France.
Iain Mew: Occasionally close to getting a little too clever in its bicycle bells, anti-car rap and all, but the warmth of the carefree chorus is undeniable enough to overcome reservations.
Martin Skidmore: There’s a nicely daisy-age opening rap from Spank Rock (though his return later is less interesting), but then the singer out of The View starts limply singing, and the music vaguely wibbles behind him, and it all goes hugely lame.
Alfred Soto: With one ear still besotted with Fatboy Slim and the other with early nineties hip-hop’s fascination with the quotidian, Mark Ronson offers a shuffling, innocuous display of pure skill. What the skill consists of besides marrying disparate elements, I’m not sure, but at least Christopher Walken’s not stonily riding a Huffy in the video.