But what would Jukebox c. 2009 say?…

[Video][Website]
[5.60]

Jonathan Bogart: He’s lost none of his facility with lushness and snap. The asshole routine is getting old, though.
[6]

Jer Fairall: Saying “I mean no disrespect by this next line” doesn’t actually absolve you of being disrespectful if you go ahead and follow it up with something so backhandedly derogatory anyway. Neither, unfortunately, does setting it to such an attractively sunny keyboard loop.
[4]

Alfred Soto: The title hook married to a piano hook evoking “Doo Wop (That Thing)”? Who says the Republicans are the only ones who understand how to co-opt liberal triumphs?
[5]

Anthony Easton: Kanye’s style has been cribbed, without his wit or verbal acuity; combine this with a confusing mix and a track that has little or no energy, and there’s no reason for me to care about this.
[3]

Kat Stevens: I would happily listen to an instrumental version of this all day: lovely, simple piano plinks and lovely, simple (but expensive) beats. I get that Terius makes a habit of pairing his most delicate tunes with reprehensible misogyny/objectification, and that the contrast is probably intentional. But goddammit dude, it would be nice if you could release a pretty song without my Feminist Sensors having to go up to amber alert.
[3]

Brad Shoup: Those sonar-like woodblock pings are straight out of What’s Going On‘s playlist. It’s simple but it works on me. Letting the crotchet piano do the melodic work, he squeezes out words like dots of icing from a pastry bag. Certainly the chorus is going to be somebody’s merit badge, but I’m not hearing the gender dynamics so much as the malignant solipsism of the addict. Dream and Pusha (who either had this verse on ice or seems to have forsaken Nature Boy) are tossing the powder in our eyes, absolutely pleased with themselves. I’m genuinely surprised how pleased I am for them.
[8]

Michaela Drapes: Oh, I’d forgotten how disgustingly saccharine The-Dream can be when he’s insulting women under the pretense of being complimentary. Sorry, man, but I would take offense at being called a ‘dope bitch’ incessantly. Sorry.
[3]

Ramzi Awn: Dope beat and a piano riff to match. Not to mention the vocals, both textured and full of hooks. The “Dope Bitch” chorus is an exercise in simplicity and fun despite the slur. Color me sold from the very first measure.
[9]

Michelle Myers: Everything about this track just bounces, the piano, that insistent bassline, even Nash himself. His voice positively jumps when he hits “so fine, so hot, so cold,” in the pre-chorus. It’s light, airy, and it floats away when you’re done listening to it. Shame the radio edit doesn’t really make sense, because, on a purely aesthetic level, “dope chick” sounds so much better.
[7]

Andy Hutchins: “And I mean no disrespect by this next line” is the exact sort of thing that the high-class Akon (this is not a slight) is best at: Being aware that he is saying the wrong things, and excusing them with the kind of wit that makes you root for him anyway. That being a Pusha specialty, and dope being his milieu, he and Terius cook very well together.
[8]