The Singles Jukebox

Shaed never maed anybody less gaey…

[Video]
[4.33]

Kylo Nocom: A VSCO trampoline sleepover gone wrong: intriguing at first when it gets dark, but ruined by the inconveniences that should have been anticipated anyways. Shaed’s night disappointingly ends indoors, the coolness of “Trampoline” all but shed by the stupid whistle-drop and an anti-climactic ending.
[3]

Oliver Maier: Manicured electropop in this vein tends to fill my heart with dread, even moreso when it’s in 12/8, so it’s nice that this isn’t a disaster; most elements range from enjoyable to inoffensive, though I’d rather the key-word for a song called “Trampoline” be “fun” rather than “moody”. Structurally, it lets itself down twice in the last stretch, firstly by paying off two minutes’ worth of build with a flimsy, whistled drop, and then by hinting at another climax in the final chorus that never arrives. There’s a [7] in here somewhere, but it’s too undercooked as is.
[5]

Alex Clifton: This was honestly okay until I realized the backing sounded like an Imagine Dragons song. Now I can’t unhear it. I’m also deeply annoyed that the band’s name is spelled oddly but pronounced “shade,” which is the most Hyacinth Bucket/Bouquet thing I’ve ever witnessed.
[3]

Katherine St Asaph: Significantly more sonically interesting — a 12/8 swagger, prickly synth burbles at the back, some haunted background vocals — than the usual alternative-radio pattern of “anodyne hit that somehow slow-burns its way to No. 1.” But employing those hits’ la-las and whistles undercuts any seriousness or danger the song was building to.
[6]

Edward Okulicz: Whistles, like explosives and semicolons, are too dangerous to use if you don’t know what you’re doing, and Shaed learns this the hard way. The song has a real slinky creep to it, which somehow feels very 90s. But that whistling breaks the spell every time.
[6]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: For something so clearly designed to soundtrack sleek ads for phones/laptops/fast cars/etc, “Trampoline” sounds remarkably retro. The points of reference for generic alt-pop haven’t updated since AWOLNATION was hot, and despite all of the hooks crammed into that old frame, “Trampoline” is almost resolutely anti-catchy. 
[3]