The Singles Jukebox

Pop, to two decimal places.

Alex Ferrari – Bara Bará Bere Berê

Someone has no doubt asked their parents for permission to do this.


[Video][Website]
[2.50]

Will Adams: If you begin with the Leo Rodriguez version of this, follow up with Michel Telo’s, then finish with Alex Ferrari’s, something interesting happens. The more beats you add, the less you want to dance to it. Ferrari engineers a faded scan of the Vengaboys that sounds like it was produced in GarageBand in fifteen minutes, putting as much effort into his vocals as he did into the sweaty, sticky bosh. Add to that the stomach-turning video, and you’ve got a complete musical devolution.
[0]

Alfred Soto: Total cost: $14, including the programmed accordion.
[1]

Jonathan Bogart: Apparently this is the year that Brazil decides to flush its reputation for producing the most beautiful and sophisticated music in the world down the toilet. And yeah, invoking bossa nova on this asshole (and that asshole) is about as productive or reasonable as a Tumblr graphic comparing Led Zeppelin lyrics to the Black Eyed Peas — but it drives me bananas that there’s genuinely great vulgar populist dance music coming out of Brazil right now but all we get is the shit that gets played on European beaches.
[2]

Katherine St Asaph: A thousand resort-dwellers are giving big soused thumb-ups tonight to their musical tourism.
[2]

Anthony Easton: I know we are supposed to review the song (Eurocheese, the mixing of the vocals is alright, does what it says on the tin), but the video, with a cartoon of Ferrari’s mouth broadcasting over the panties of nubile dancers, is so fucking creepy that it robs the track of any good will. 
[3]

Brad Shoup: Was thinking the problem was under-arranged Europop, but no, my beloved “Uncle John From Jamaica” has roughly the same instrumental weights and measure. Well, there’s one big difference: the multiple vocal tracks. A dry Ferrari all by himself, demonstrating superhuman feats of salesmanship.
[3]

Patrick St. Michel: It’s annoying as can be, but I won’t be able to get that hook out of my head for a while, so… it succeeded at something, I guess.
[4]

Iain Mew: As befits a song that’s gone through several different versions before making its way to Europe’s charts, this sounds stripped down to the absolute basics, from the direct punch of the beat to the minimum of accordion dressing for flavour. The results aren’t pretty, but they maximise the catchiness of the central chant. Faint praise, but it’s still way better than “Ai Se Eu Te Pego.”
[5]

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