Very little.

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[2.50]

Alfred Soto: Students in Songwriting 101 learn how good tunes require Important Details. This one’s got a few, and “you can’t go to bed without your cup of tea” may cause a few parental eyebrows to rise: how would he know this about her unless…? The rest of this dutiful plaint doesn’t rise to the level of Pace Changer, despite the close-miked harmonies and the “pretty” acoustic figure. Alert teens may even tell these jerks to fuck off after the singer hopes the beloved will “love herself” as much as he loves her. 
[3]

Jonathan Bogart: Sincerity is the most loathsome of the affects.
[6]

Anthony Easton: In five years or so, some of those One Direction fan-girls will do this as an ironic gag at a feminist performance night at the women’s only space at their local college. They will note the camp element of patronizing ballads, as they realize they don’t need a man to justify what they can or cannot like about their bodies. I await those performances. 
[2]

Iain Mew: Between the phone box on the album cover and choosing a single with prominent mention of tea, it seems like a US-friendly version of Britishness is being used as a USP for One Direction. Even more certain, following his track on the Taylor Swift album, this is a big step in trying to launch Ed Sheeran in the States. “Little Things” is a very Ed Sheeran song. I had no idea before I listened that it was him and guessed within three lines. It has the same simple melody and sentimentality and mistakes mundanity for relatability in the same way as a “Drunk”, and Zayn even does a pretty good impression of Ed’s singing style. Still, if the song really was found down the back of a sofa by Fiona Bevan rather than written specially, then it’s a nice coincidence that it follows on so neatly from the “you’re sexy because you have low self-esteem” message of “What Makes You Beautiful” (thanks, Zach). If you thought that had problematic sentiments, though, it has nothing on “you’ll never love yourself half as much as I love you” and a detailed list of perceived physical faults. I would say that the problem was One Direction not being well equipped to handle the subtleties and the inherent problems of a group singing such intimate thoughts, but while there are some stilted deliveries I don’t think that it would have sounded any less iffy in Sheeran’s own hands.
[3]

Brad Shoup: Who doesn’t love the dimples of Venus? Most of the Directions give great vocal grain, but Jake Gosling couldn’t even be bothered to add a bassline. This is some white-knight evangelical bullcrap; call these guys Cap’n-Save-a-Homeschooler. 
[1]

Katherine St Asaph: I want an answer song. By which I mean the same damn conceit, just about Ed Sheeran.
[1]

Edward Okulicz: From an unknown 17-year old as Sheeran was when he wrote it, you can understand. Recorded by a boy band whose handlers presumably want girls to listen to it and think “Hey, I’m not a model but based on this I could totally have sex with one of One Direction,” it’s a bit icky. Then again, so was “What Makes You Beautiful” and that had the excuse of being a massive, addictive rush. “Little Things” isn’t a good song and is kind of a waste of a single release for an usually entertainingly hedonistic pop group. Only Zayn sings the song in a way that doesn’t convey a bad kind of awkwardness.
[3]

Ramzi Awn: It’s too bad — the song could have capitalized on some good moments. “Little Things” is a great catchphrase that could have become a pretty little hook. Instead, it’s just another post-braces love song with too many cliches.    
[4]

Will Adams: Because we can’t have nice things, the one negative aspect of “What Makes You Beautiful” gets blown up to gargantuan proportions and released as a single. Any charm that might come from embracing a girl’s flaws dissolves the moment you realize that these fools have once again dedicated a whole song to pointing out these insecurities that this girl is apparently an idiot for having. This sentiment isn’t new to pop (cf. “Fucking Perfect” et. al), but never has it sounded so disingenuous. One Direction aren’t invested in anything other than making themselves look like the sensitive type, and they shouldn’t get away with it because they’re young and pretty. Assholes are assholes, no matter how flowing their hair. It might seem unfair to give this score based on ideological reasons, but rest assured: the candy-coated guitars and abysmal vocals pulled their weight, too.
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Patrick St. Michel: Interesting… I didn’t realize that if I saved all the embarrassing notes I wrote to girls in my youth, I could end up with a gloopy snoozer of a song that gets millions of views online. Shame I had the sense not to share them with anyone.
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