Bonus points for having a band name that at least offers a positive alternative to listening to their music…

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[2.17]

Brad Shoup: Our modern rockers have forged some new Transatlantic accent. Marky Mumford and Dan Reynolds could switch hometowns and nothing would be amiss. If you only listened to modern rock, you’d be forgiven for thinking lyricism had long passed the peak-oil point. Garbled metaphors really are the worst. Cards fold themselves. Masquerades call you out. Blood runs stale. Keyboardists play Neil Diamond’s “America”. Bands whinge about scars. People clear their hard drives when they turn 35.
[1]

Anthony Easton: There is nothing beastly here, and even less that is demonic. The Christian obsessions are not well-closeted at all; there is potential for a work that combines a sinner’s self-loathing with a belief in the desire for saving — it begins by claiming to be a redemption song. The masochism of this reaches sublimated Catholic seminary levels, but it’s not really as interesting as work made in that context. It’s also kind of offensive, assuming the subject of the song (who I am assuming is a lover) can bring him out from the darkness. In a theological sense, he is replacing agape love with erotic love, which precludes the purpose of God. In a non-theological sense, he refuses his lover’s personhood. In a musical sense, sigh why bother. 
[2]

Patrick St. Michel: If Three Doors Down thought, “Yeah man, we DO have a lot of important things to say!”
[1]

Alfred Soto: I don’t want to hear a two-dollar Chris Martin rhyming “greed” and “need.” I just learned: “plod” and “dud” don’t rhyme unless you’re Emily Dickinson.
[1]

Scott Mildenhall: Not the best song called “Demons”, not even the best one this year, but at least it isn’t a complete racket. The “Jar Of Hearts”-esque melody is catchy, but that becomes a problem when it very much is the only one in the song. It just doesn’t go anywhere, other than towards “quite annoying now” before the end of only a second or third listen.
[5]

Crystal Leww: This is the most nondescript song I’ve ever heard.
[3]