Tuesday, June 28th, 2011

The Saturdays – Notorious

What, no “laborious” jokes? For shame.


Jer Fairall: If you say so.

Michaela Drapes: There’s always something in The Saturdays’ songs that make me cringe — from the weird sample of “Situation” on “If This Is Love” to the hideous cover of “Just Can’t Get Enough” to, well “my resume says I’m a bad girl.” This is lowest common denominator pop of the very worst sort: too remarkably bad to be easily forgotten, yet not rankly offensive or smart or charming enough to be great. Can’t they just, like, go away already?

Katherine St Asaph: “I’m a bad girl” is not an appropriate statement for a resume. The Saturdays should at least bullet-point it or list specific ways in which they’ve been bad girls, like public indecency inside a streetlight or cribbing from Ke$ha.

Iain Mew: “My résumé says I’m a bad girl,” they sing, and suddenly I realise what all their claims of outrageous outlawdom remind me of. They’re just like candidates on The Apprentice if they were competing for some kind of dancefloor management position, spouting all of the necessary received buzzwords but sounding like they’re barely even convincing themselves. Still, it’s tryhard in a fairly entertaining manner.

Jonathan Bogart: I like the arpeggiated up-and-down-the-scale synth line, I like the faux-hardness which slips just enough to show the creamy, goofy center. I like the high oh-oh-ohs that break in behind the chorus now and then. I just don’t like the song.

Edward Okulicz: Girl groups need some combination of sass and quality songs. If you have enough of one, you don’t need the other but The Saturdays have neither. It’s really hard to hear “Notorious” as being anything other than meekly embarrassing. Here, they’re once again forced to sell a weak song with tinny, cheap production and a mountain of cliches of badness when they have no attitude or individuality to speak of. Just not good enough for a crowded marketplace, ladies.

Zach Lyon: Writing a song shouldn’t sound this difficult.

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