The Singles Jukebox

Onward, Christian keggers, marching as to frat…

[Video][Website]
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Sally O’Rourke: Hot Chelle Rae blends the forced naughtiness of Katy Perry, the unctuousness of Maroon 5 and the bro-y bonhomie of Jason Mraz into a cheap but heady concoction reeking of Everclear and ballsweat. The “It’s My Party” rip might pass as homage, but nicking its biggest hook from “Little Bit O’ Soul” (“modified,” a la Vanilla Ice) only stirs memories of a time when frat rock, you know, rocked, not dribbled out of the side of its mouth while groping indiscriminately.
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Katherine St Asaph: Oh, so these guys made that song. Good that the post-frat crowd’s still holding it down for Gleemo vocals, lyrical quirks (half of which are done better by Frank Ocean) and tonight-sploitation. The “white kids” line alone should get these jackasses permanently docked 50 chart spots.
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Al Shipley: The advertising industry’s top jingle singers (or ‘jingers,’ as they’re known in the biz) often pride themselves on making catchy little earworms heard by millions that exist outside of the world of chart pop. So it’s caused quite a stir that the guy from the Arby’s ads teamed up with the FreeCreditScore.com band and broke the unwritten rule of their profession, commercially releasing a whole 3-minute song, and proving how much the world appreciates their songcraft by rocketing “Tonight Tonight” into the top 10.
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Brad Shoup: You have to feel a twinge of pity for Messrs. Rae, releasing an body-moving anthem that won’t get played at any clubs not housed in a theme park. Written with three notes and a fervent hatred for their audience, “Tonight Tonight” is surely my punishment for taking seriously the career of Kasenetz and Katz. Dig the self-conscious/stale appropriation of hip-hop verbal cues! “Even the white kids,” they exhort! Oh ho, you witty little shits!
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Michaela Drapes: For a party jam, this is too tame and draggy and forced to actually be fun. Then again, I’m sure it’s a hit at tween girl summer camp barbecues; and it’s just screaming to be Glee-ified come fall. But am I already pining for the return of Metro Station? I think I am.
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Pete Baran: Is this Dweeb Pop? Len, Wheatus, even Owl City plug into this bedroom bounce which feels Disney-sanctioned even with the Zach Galifianakis reference. It’s the kind of clean, wholesome fun that makes the idea of all night parties seem like they might not end in self-loathing, despair and a hangover, no matter what the song says.
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Edward Okulicz: I’m all for chasing the zeitgeist, especially if it’s toward the end of making a 2010’s “Steal My Sunshine,” but “Tonight Tonight” is pretty ham-fisted; the band are an airbrushed-dirty All-American Rejects who throw a bunch of lines at you in the hope that a terrible Zach Galifiankis reference or an annoying three-note sequence might stick. Leaves about as much impact as a punch from one of these weeds.
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Jer Fairall: This has already been floating around long enough to have gotten stuck in my head on numerous occasions without me ever knowing who it was, though I just assumed that it was either a better-than-average Stereos song or a worse-than-average All American Rejects song. Paying actual attention for the first time, I catch a Zach Galifianakis reference and a tired riff about white kids dancing that should totally make me hate this, but its all so amiable and eager to please that I’m willing to let them off with just a friendly warning this time.
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Ian Mathers: I was getting barbecue with a friend last night, when this video came up on one of the TVs in the restaurant. “Ugh,” I said, “I’m going to write about that song for the Jukebox, and it sucks.” “Yeah, it looks like it sucks. That’s an awful band name, too.” “The weird thing is, they look douchey in the video, but with the sound off it looks like the song would be a lot rockier or emo-y or something, it’s way more poppy and kind of wussy when you hear it.” I didn’t tell her that at some point they encourage “even the white kids” to dance, because why piss my friend off?
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Zach Lyon: It’s like they decided to show off and embrace every single terrible frat trash cliche they could find. There’s the awkward implication of emotion, in the chorus and the weird, um… pre-verse? Is that a verse? It sounds like an intro. Okay, I guess it has to be a verse because there’s only ONE other verse. I’m not used to hating songs this tiny. But then there’s the too-cool irony, sort of, which frat boys never pull off well — whatever, it doesn’t matter, oh well — wait, is this supposed to be in response to the part about his girlfriend cheating on him? Is that what this is about? Guys, you cannot possibly try to force this song to be about something. The majority of it is spent in ridiculous, obnoxious meaninglessness, at least when we enter the twelve minutes of chorus, pre-chorus and middle eight, repeated. Do people actually listen to this and treat it like a breakup song? And guys… there are some other things you should know: Zach Galifianakis would hate your reference. He has probably heard this and it probably made him depressed. You are the white boys.
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Jonathan Bogart: “Wait a second,” said the drive-time DJ in disbelief. “Did he just say, ‘even the white kids’?” “Yeah, I think so,” said the female DJ. Her partner chortled bemusedly. “Uh, not like I’ve seen a picture of them, but ain’t these kids white?” “Whatever.”
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