Thursday, September 1st, 2011

Drake – Headlines

Thinking we should just add a word filter to insert that “Fucking” every time…


Anthony Easton: Even when he’s bragging about how completely awesome he is, Drake sounds like a whiny asshole.

Alfred Soto: If I were Kanye, I’d watch my step: this Drake track is the most execrable kind of indie catatonia stereotype disguised as R&B. The damn thing even sounds like a demo; imagine an acoustic guitar substituting for the keyboard. Self-regard has rarely sounded this vacuous.

Al Shipley: As much as I hated “Over,” its spoiled whining at least had a little bit of a barbed edge to it. This, like “I’m On One,” is just more of Aubrey trying to get into asshole mode but letting his true soft-hands nice guy self take over as he continues to say “I apologize” more than any rapper in history. Meanwhile, his producer Boi-1da manages to top himself with even more egregious hi-hat programming than on “Forever.”

Brad Shoup: The synth strings and toots promise import that he just won’t deliver and beg for a refrain that he can’t provide. Seriously, dude needs to contract out his choruses; he hasn’t had a knockout since “Best I Ever Had”. If Drake’s flow was translated into Morse code it’d probably read “eeeeeeeeeeeee”. He raps like he’s reading ransom demands at gunpoint. His accusations are vague; the drama dubious. “Soap opera rappers” indeed.

Josh Love: The time is nigh for Drake to deliver a follow-up to his worldbeating debut, Thank Me Later. No points for correctly guessing that he handles the prospect of a sophomore slump the same way he’s handled every damn thing else in his career to date — with a combination of intense self-absorption, bottom-line braggadocio, and crippling insecurity. “Headlines” doesn’t even offer any real hook or musical payoff as compensation for sitting through his latest bout of navel-gazing, making it not the slightest bit more entertaining than reading the most banal of celebrity tweets.

Katherine St Asaph: Fucking Drake’s so convinced we care about his life that he forgot to write a chorus or more than one synth line. If this were a headline, it’d be a polysyllabic 16-pointer on the zoning board.

Jer Fairall: As possibly the Jukebox’s only Flippin’ Drake fan, I’m more than a little bummed at my cool responses to his recent singles, but while this one is less lyrically clumsy than “Marvin’s Room,” it is stranded in a mid-tempo that holds it back from gathering the momentum of his faster tracks or easing into the prettiness of his quieter ones.  I guess there might be some comfort to be taken in the fact that Thank Me Later‘s singles weren’t its best tracks anyway.  

6 Responses to “Drake – Headlines”

  1. news designer hat OFF

  2. lol

  3. “As much as I hated “Over,” its spoiled whining at least had a little bit of a barbed edge to it. This, like “I’m On One,” is just more of Aubrey trying to get into asshole mode…”

    Drake songs are distinguishable from other Drake songs??

  4. I’m in love with this song, but you guys seriously crack me up. XD

  5. Mr. Shipley’s on-point about the shitty hi-hat programming. actually the drums are a problem with most Drake songs, though not necessarily hi-hat-related.

  6. Drake songs are bearable enough that you listen to them long enough to hear the drums??