Thursday, September 22nd, 2011

Big Sean ft. Kanye West & Roscoe Dash – Marvin & Chardonnay

Sexy windshield noise, bro…


Al Shipley: Uptempo, club-oriented rap songs have never really been Kanye’s forte, and when you think about it, this is the first one he’s actually had on the radio in the four years since “Good Life.” Theoretically, this should be a welcome change from all the ponderous stadium rap and breakup laments, but the company he keeps here is somehow even worse than his verse.

Jonathan Bogart: This is the first thing I’ve heard Big Sean do that sounds like the promotional push behind him makes even a vague kind of commercial sense. He’s still a blank next to Kanye and even Roscoe, but he’s a gregarious blank, and if you don’t believe for a second the fake-loverman persona in this song, you’re not supposed to.

Jer Fairall: “My Last” is still the best apocalyptic party jam of the year no matter what y’all say, but whatever charisma he displayed there is diluted by this track’s overcrowded guest spots, and the gravitas required to make me ignore “she’s a five in the face but a ten in the ass” completely absent this time around, leaving this with nothing but a bunch of sexist-pig boasts and Kayne explaining why his jokes are funny.

Brad Shoup: The refrain shares certain triumphal similarities with another Roscoe-voiced song — Waka’s “No Hands” — with the addition of jet-setting strings and the exchange of puzzling wine choices. Major shame about the window-wiping sound effect, but it’s abandoned after the first verse. Mr. West seems to think that dumbing shit down is what’s required on a guest spot; chord progressions projected large are his bread and butter, but he’s assigned the tuba blats, not the strings.

Alex Ostroff: The beat might be the most grating noise I’ve heard all year – like the sound of a pink school eraser squeaking across a sheet of paper. The second most grating noise I’ve heard this year is how Kanye and Sean pronounce “Hol’up hol’up hol’up.” The disgusting displays of over the top assholery are offputting, but “Marvin & Chardonnay” is bad enough on its musical merits.

Katherine St Asaph: Such a cluttered arrangement. It’s like trying to hear Marvin on a crowded subway train during a staticky route announcement about an earthquake, or trying to taste Chardonnay in party juice also mixed with battery acid.

Alfred Soto: These days Kanye and Big Sean will have better luck with the Chardonnay. Funny how Kanye reminds us that he’s supposed to be a “grown man.” Would a grown man record himself chuckling over the lame-ass “fuckin’ anthem” line? A grown man will admit his club banger prowess has declined since “Good Life.”

One Response to “Big Sean ft. Kanye West & Roscoe Dash – Marvin & Chardonnay”

  1. I’m pretty sure that Big Sean is the worst successful major-label rapper ever. far more so than Drake.