The Singles Jukebox

And all of this is just his idea of a first date.

[Video][Website]
[5.25]

Brad Shoup: I think my biggest problem is the chorus: Moore clearly doesn’t have the pipe strength to put an already-unpleasant melody over. The song’s likely been tailored to his paltry range, and he still sounds like he broke into gasps as soon as the engineer stopped recording. Meanwhile, our boy rubs his hands over the implication of a truck (someone smarter than I can take on the symbolism of the ignored no-tresspassing sign), which I don’t mind so much, but we’re getting toward the close of outdoor-sex season, so he’s gotta hurry it up. I certainly hope he doesn’t fuck like he emotes.
[3]

Anthony Easton: 18 seconds into this video, where Kip slides off the truck in the dirty grey t-shirt and those trashy aviator shades — pure hotness, so fucking hot that I cannot fully appreciate the quality or lack of quality of the video. I have been told it’s not very good, and not very kind to women, but there seems to be a fundamental truth, about beer and trucks and fields and the like — so maybe my initial reaction was a genuinely critical one. 
[8]

Iain Mew: I think that if this ended at 2:00 it would be a much better song than it is. The way that each of the first four verses progress the narrative while circling back around musically, with the repeated “There’s somethin’ ’bout a…,” is so neat, and the run back through all of them tops it off perfectly. It’s like a children’s storybook, although you’re probably unlikely to find one with this storyline. Everything after that is not just unnecessary but actually undermines the effect. Given the way that he sings “there’s something about a kiss that’s going to lead to more,” I’d assumed that more than skinny-dipping had already happened and the combination of sleazy and prissy is not a good one.
[5]

Zach Lyon: What wonderful verses, if only because of that “somethin’ ’bout a” construction, entirely pointless unless you’re considering how interesting it makes everything sound. Unfortunate thing is, they forgot to write a chorus, and I mean that literally.
[6]

Katherine St Asaph: “There’s something about a girl in a red sundress / with an ice-cold beer pressed against her lips.” Come on, bro. You’re already ripping off “The Rattlin’ Bog”‘s list structure without bothering to bring singing or snap to that particular valley-o, and besides, your lyrics have already gotten you both naked. You have not earned this coyness.
[2]

Edward Okulicz: I dig the verses which wrap a slew of sneaky hooks around disappointingly restrained G-rated innuendo. You can hear the eyebrows being raised. Actually, the verses tie together neatly enough that the chorus is somewhere between a formality and a nuisance.
[7]

Alfred Soto: Somethin’ about guitar raunch that leads to more, somethin’ about patiently developing come-ons before the score, somethin’ about imitatin’ Toby Keith with guitar like Keef, somethin’ ’bout being sincere without cryin’ in your beer.
[7]

W.B. Swygart: Urgently needs the “AN’ WE MADE LURRRRVE!” bit from “Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy” transplanted in somewhere. End of the first verse’d do it.
[4]