Tinchy Stryder ft. Calvin Harris – Off The Record
So Calvin Harris now not only gets “featuring” credits, he gets shout-outs.
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Kat Stevens: Every Tuesday night Calvin Harris, David Guetta and Deadmau5 (or whoever) meet in an upstairs room in a Sam Smiths pub in Soho. Guetta pulls out some graph paper and the gang plot out exactly what combinations of der-der-DEE-DEE-duh-duh they’ve already used. “How about this one, Calvin? We’ve used it before for Taio Cruz, I think. Or was it Chipmunk? Either way, it’s your turn for the production credit.” “Oh no”, says Harris. “It’s Tinchy this week. He’s a decent dude and we should make a bit of an effort. Maybe put a fourth note in there?” Axwell from Swedish House Mafia begs to differ. “Nah, we thought that with Tinie Tempah but it turns out you can get away with just putting another layer of breakbeat on, and they’ll be happy. Off the record, I gave up on having more than 3 notes in a hook long ago. Now get us another pint of Alpine lager.” Harris shrugs and goes up to queue at the bar, as Axwell’s words circle in his head. “Hmm, off the record… Wait a second! Guys! We make records, don’t we?” The others burst out laughing.
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Brad Shoup: Another celebrity bully, holding the backpack of fame out of everyone’s reach. Tinchy’s got no qualms about his new realm, in which everyone’s an actor (“Her Katy Perry’s awesome,” he raves) and there’s no indication how he arrived. And while in the past he’s stepped too far with his media musings, “Off the Record” is a statement of selfish preservation, not a civil-rights plea. For that honesty, as well as his breathless reportage, I’m on board. Harris continues to rack up the credit-gifts with a standard electro-house production: you can believe Stryder’s having the time of his life, but you can’t think he’s alone in doing so.
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Iain Mew: Not sure which is worse — “Her Katy Perry’s awesome/she kissed a girl I saw them” or “Calvin gets the girls/he’s got all the girls”. Probably the latter. Meanwhile Calvin tries on a series of scruffier versions of his default rave sounds, and each is just as unappealing as the last.
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Katherine St Asaph: Oh, Calvin Harris. Every time, you truly R What You R. Tinchy’s cadence and personality has to be something he snuck in after post-production.
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Jonathan Bogart: Oh, I see. It’s “We Found Love,” but with a guy.
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Edward Okulicz: If you were making a list of British Artists Who Need To Stop, you could do far worse than beginning and ending with these two.
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