Cue the one-liners…

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[3.38]

Will Adams: Oh, so that’s your excuse?
[2]

Megan Harrington: Sure enough, me either!
[3]

Anthony Easton: If you actually didn’t care, this would work much less. She is out of breath in the choruses, and it ends with a litany of the title, suggesting that she cares deeply. 
[3]

Danilo Bortoli: More often than not, the words “I don’t care” appear in pop music amongst narratives of disdain towards other people or just self-empowerment anthems (Icona Pop’s “I Love It” and Demi Lovato’s “Really Don’t Care” are clichés right now, but they work just fine as examples). Cheryl is following this same path here, often with mixed results. While she’s right about the usage of this old formula, the song comes off as just not as cathartic and empowering as it could be. It’s a sonically self-restrained song about letting it go, and its contradictions are very easy to spot.
[4]

Alfred Soto: Her fifth British number one, and on second listen its determination to be insouciant assumes a sinister aspect, like a Jason Donovan hit from 1989.
[2]

Brad Shoup: She beats that rhyme scheme up in the chorus when she could’ve leaned harder on that cod-Mellotron Jock Jams riff. (There’s also a reference to the Milky Way seeming so distant, she’s not an astronomer; she’s the star.) The riffage is really trying to take some weight off the text’s hands, but Cheryl and company are determined to make this romp as dutiful as possible.
[5]

Scott Mildenhall: “Waking up diagonal” is the best representation of freedom through bed occupation in an opening lyric since “Stronger”, but to follow it up with “like an animal” is stretching things. “I Don’t Care” is marked by such clashes between subtlety and clumsiness. Without even getting further into the lyrics, the synth hook is faintly ludicrous — a cartoon car horn? a distorted keypad tone? — as much as it has an unpinpointable background quality that would lend the burst of the intro to the accompaniment of Dermot O’Leary saying “and going loco down in Acapulco, it’s Louis and the Over 25s.” Most striking and emblematic are Cheryl’s vocals, so strong an example of her mercurial powers of blankness that she very much does live up to the title, if not in the desired manner.
[5]

Iain Mew: Even up to partway through the chorus, this could so easily be turned into a cover of the 2NE1 song, and it would be such an improvement. As it is, some sparky synth work in the bridge is the only sign of life.
[3]