There is almost certainly a specialized term for “mondegreen that irrevocably ruins the song once you hear it.” Commenters?

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Scott Mildenhall: There hasn’t been a good “Clocks” knockoff in a while, so for now this is close enough, but that said, did Coldplay really invent the open-hearted sequence of notes those strings are forming? (Don’t know.) The truth is lost to time, answerable only with remnants on a Rush of Blood to the Head palimpsest, and it becomes as easy to credit them with it as it is with Robin Schulz and the revolutionary art he mastered: applying gentle propulsion to lugubrious people’s lugubriousness. Ilsey has the archetypal bland expression down pat, allowing for a crackle but no more in a vocal bearing no intent of creeping leftwards of the ft. But ultimately the different, open road “Headlights” takes is less indelible.
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Will Adams: TIL: the way to make the guitar-strummy deep house genre more compelling is a big, effective chorus complete with Coldplay accoutrements. “Tove Lo with head cold” as vocalist, not so much. 
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Thomas Inskeep: What do Europeans hear in this lazy, vaguely trancey bad pop music? I don’t get it. Also, “Headlights” sounds to my ears unfortunately close to “head lice.” 
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Katherine St Asaph: It’s cold, it feels like Independence Day, and I can’t break away from this Coldplay.
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Patrick St. Michel: The lyrics to this are very bad, but that would be no big deal if Robin Schulz’ music offered something fun in their place. Rather, it is a mob of grandiose strings trying to trick me into thinking any of these goofy similes are deep.
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Alfred Soto: On hearing this putative thumper once, I replayed the string breakdown over the four on the floor. And played it again. 
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Micha Cavaseno: The great joke of 2015 is that EDM has become the cannibal pop collapse we’ve been awaiting. If it’s got a characteristic, EDM will take that and hollow out the body to live inside. EDM infects rap, bluegrass — and twee nonsense that belongs in Hallmark commercials.
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