The Singles Jukebox

The boy with the cold hard cash is always Mister Right.

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[4.70]

Zach Lyon: Obligatory mention that Rye Rye is the closest thing Baltimore has to a genuine potential breakout rap star who would actually maintain a bit of the city’s spirit in her persona-style-delivery. Obligatory reminder that this is the cost.
[3]

Katherine St Asaph: The artistry of “Jello” is something that deserves our attention and admiration; here’s something quite simple and, well, boring, but the skill devoted to ennobling the humble lack of substance is a triumph of the production art, as well as a tour of the electropop styles of the time. But there’s a grim Depression subtext of gender confusion and starvation and the brutal evaporation of class distinctions! Also ass.
[2]

Kat Stevens: I like songs about big butts and I cannot lie!
[7]

W.B. Swygart: If the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle she compares you to is Donatello, it’s because she wants you to have a look at her dishwasher. The song itself is just dissimilar enough to their hit that you notice it isn’t as good as their hit.
[4]

John Seroff: This past summer I was working a music festival where a major electropop band played, attracting a specific subset of late-teen nudniks. While I stood in the crowd watching the set, one of these kids tapped me on the side and asked me if I knew Molly. I held up my staff pass and said loudly “DUDE I WORK HERE”. The kid stared blankly at my credentials and said “Yeah, but… Molly?” I had to say it again. Bass ricocheted on a loop through the audience. An idiot child was looking to get high in all the wrong places. I felt, not for the last time, exasperated and (just possibly) too old for the club.
[4]

Brad Shoup: There’s a rainy melancholy to the chorus’ programming. With the addition of junior-high hashtags and Rye Rye’s insistence on not going the full length with the “It Takes Two” quote, we get a bruise audibly poked for three minutes.
[2]

Sabina Tang: I liked this better when it was G-Dragon and T.O.P., but that’s not going to stop me giving it a [8]. It’s functional, which is the highest compliment I can bestow on modular furniture and club music. See you on the floor as soon as, um, this broken toe heals.
[8]

Alex Ostroff: I adore Rye Rye’s vocal tone, and if this were nothing but her, I would love it. As it is, the rubbery synths, the hint of reggaeton in the beat, and the Rye Rye that we get is sufficient.
[6]

Jonathan Bogart: Hey, it’s the Far East Movement, sounding remarkably like … the Far East Movement. “Jello” is better than “Backseat” (which means it’s more like “Like a G6”), but aside from Rye Rye’s interjections, the only memorable line is the howling desert void that is rhyming “bottles” with “models.” Still, if Rye Rye becomes a Dev-level star out of this, it’ll have been worth it. Maybe we could, for example, finally get some movement on Go! Pop! Bang!
[6]

Michaela Drapes: You know what’s going to happen here — somehow three minutes of this will seem like an aching eternity around the two-minute mark. It’s cute and funny until that tipping point, when you just want it to all be over as soon as possible.
[5]