Time for some fancy maths…

[Video][Website]
[4.45]

Mo Kim: “Fancy” – (Igloo + Charli XCX) = “Fancy” – 0 = “Fancy” =
[6]

Natasha Genet Avery: Buying a car and listening to rush hour radio has made me more attuned to Bay Area music than the internet ever did. Hearing rotations evolve has made me a more competent hit speculator, and I’m inclined to believe that “Classic Man” accidentally climbed the charts due to listeners’ apathy. No one ever phones in requesting “Classic Man.” And yet I’ve never changed the station upon hearing it; Jidenna’s breakout is inoffensive and pleasant enough that it barely registers. It wouldn’t even make sense to blare this with the windows down–it’s thin, all mids and treble, with a sparse bass drum and the snaps mixed too high. “Heys” that should bounce ebulliently on the offbeats instead come off as weak and muted. I’m not sure if these choices are Roman GianArthur’s conscious rejection of the type of dirty, sexualized sub-bass permeating rap and hip-hop in favor of a sanitized Classic Man© sound, and I don’t know if that intention would make this better or worse. +1 because “you pull out rubber bands/ I pull out an envelope” deserves a soft, polite chuckle. 
[5]

Thomas Inskeep: “I’m so fancy, you already know…” Oh, wait, this is another song? Yeah, maybe ripping off that already-iconic synth-bassline isn’t the best idea. Also, Jidenna, based on the lyrics here, is less a classic man and more just another scrub, hangin’ out the side of his best friend Roman GianArthur’s ride.
[2]

Alfred Soto: Fitting that this wannabe metrosexual keeps clean over a variant on the “Fancy” bass line, afloat on substandard preening. I won’t let him know.
[5]

Crystal Leww: “Classic Man” is subdued rnbass in the vein of Ty Dolla $ign but with very little of the uncomfortably compelling charm that Ty brings to the table when he does this faux sexy grown man routine. Lyrically, this is similar to “Fancy” (yes, that one), but obviously with less obnoxious do-dats and a lot more quiet smirking. Jidenna finally turns it up around the bridge, and I can finally see what Monae finds special about Jidenna, but by then it’s a little bit too late. It’s not the worst attempt at a rap radio bop, but I’d rather hear the boss’s “Yoga” instead.
[5]

Josh Winters: It’s more of an honor to be seen as “classic” rather than “fancy,” but that recognition of value and quality is one that needs to be earned over time. Jidenna brings his silly swank and charm to the table, but it doesn’t make up for GianArthur’s stale, Iggy-indebted production, and because of that, I don’t see this one entering the RNBass canon anytime soon.
[5]

Iain Mew: The space where “Mustard on the beat” would go makes as much impression as Jidenna.
[3]

Micha Cavaseno: “Classic Man” is unavoidably tied into Jidenna’s concept. In 2015, we have a young African-American man who is arguing that in order for his fellow young black men people to respect themselves, they should take up early 20th century fashions, including, much to my own personal horror, a conk. Problematic themes aside, this is a brilliant take on the ideology of the Atlanta “Black Boy White Boy” aesthetic, where kids like Yung LA, Travis Porter and Roscoe Dash would frequently brag about their ‘white boy tags’ and shopping at preppy stores like American Eagle and H&M to be ahead of the game. This act of assimilation served less as a gesture of aspirational compromising for mainstream acceptance and more of an effort to redefine themselves through warping mainstream culture to suit their needs; a typical move of the ‘hip-hop’ generations. In that regard, Jidenna’s grasping of the dullard beard culture frequently manifesting in hipster circles to mean something more IS far more noble than your average leftover Ringling Brother Ringmaster. Likewise, the song is built out of the Futuristic era sing-song rap more than the pseudo-Mustard ratchet stylings of his production; if anything “Classic Man” and its austerity seems derivative of rappers like Rich Homie Quan and Young Thug while becoming embattled against their ‘loosey-goosey’ approaches to black masculinity, both defiant and debaucherous. Ultimately as a rap song it fails to really overpower his peers, but as a conceptual statement, I truly admire the craftsmanship involved (whille not being the intended audience). Should Jidenna find a way to challenge expectations and improve his songwriting, he could very well become a star. But I pray to him, PLEASE LOSE THE FUCKING CONK.
[5]

Brad Shoup: I love that he titled his EP The Eephus, but I’m not seeing a lot of the off-off-speed stuff here. Maybe when he sings “if when she go away/I’m a classic man” — then it becomes a psych-up session in the mirror. The fingersnaps are great, especially when they’re clustered into castanets. The hook’s got a chance at virality, but otherwise it’s a pretty rigid tune.
[5]

Katherine St Asaph: The supply and demand for marketable authenticity show no signs of decline; the examples just get more on-the-nose. Shawn Mendes’ album is called Handwritten, Tori Kelly’s is Handmade Songs, a good fourth of pop lyrics are references to golden oldies, and now Jidenna’s introducing himself to radio as a classic man. (Somebody consult David Kibbe!) The RnBass genre is inherently too vibrant even in this desiccated form for “Classic Man” to be totally fedorable, but much like “Yoga,” the hooks are dull as a bad suit.
[5]

Cédric Le Merrer: The only thing missing from this is the address to register for Jidenna’s PUA bootcamp.
[3]