i.e. how long it’s been since anyone cared

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[3.00]
Micha Cavaseno: Alicia Keys is one of the boldest sellers of no vocal ability known to man. Someone needs to hook her up with a movie deal, so her biopic #StraightOuttaKey becomes a national success. Even this clunker of a beat which attempts to sound “So New York” sounds like a 10-year-old fucking around on Fruity Loops. Girl, you’ve sang (badly, as per usual) over “NY State Of Mind” — you should know the difference!
[0]
Thomas Inskeep: It feels like this song goes on for 28 thousand days.
[3]
Natasha Genet Avery: An enthusiastic Alicia Keys tries to conjure up some #yolo, but the problem is that 28,000 days conveys no urgency– that sounds like an eternity! Not only does the central conceit fail, but the rest of the lyrics similarly resemble a first draft ( “life’s too short to just throw it away/so have the time of your life”). The melody and arrangement can’t save this either, and an over-enunciated “twen-ty-eight thou-u-sand” drags over some cluttered piano fills. “28 Thousand Days” sounds like the saddest celebration ever.
[3]
Patrick St. Michel: Pretty tough to get fired up for life when every element of this song, even the horns, sound bored out of its mind.
[3]
Alfred Soto: In yet another example of her ability to annoy me, Alicia Keys gets the title wrong in MLA and AP style. This carpe diem anthem ropes in horns just because and includes the lyric “back from hell on angel wings” because, like a defeated congressman on “Morning Joe,” she’s a bizzer with a guaranteed income on a variety show awaiting her. She has nothing to say and has never been eloquent or passionate about projecting her vacuity. Maybe listeners are catching on.
[2]
Brad Shoup: Alicia Keys echoing Curtis Mayfield’s puffs and sighs, over a cod-Rich Harrison production: this excites me, conceptually. But the fanfare is too chintzy by half, and the processed riff is just as static. Keys is great, mind: check out how she squeezes out every precious syllable on the chorus. There’s a buried choral harmony behind her at the end: more of that essence, please.
[6]
Ramzi Awn: Keys has always had her “head to the sky,” and her faith has always shaped her music. When it works, the powerhouse’s soulful brand of R&B is inviting. When it doesn’t, it feels oddly personal. A venture in indie folk R&B is not her worst idea, but it isn’t her best either.
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