Yes, they really are asking for it.
Mallory O’Donnell: You’re gonna love genital warts!
Jonathan Bogart: Right sentiment, wrong tense.
Will Adams: It doesn’t feel right giving “You’re Gonna Love This” a low score just because it has an asking-for-it title. That doesn’t matter, though, when sub-Black Eyed Peas rapping, hokey pitch-shifted vocals, bargain basement synths, and a Jeffrey Dahmer reference are involved. Win-win.
Katherine St Asaph: Found in a confidential email, addressees 3OH!3, sender obfuscated, subject line “How To Usurp LMFAO’s Bro Throne”: “Punch yourself in the face, the forehead if you’re squeamish. Use nails and fists. Hang off the couch headfirst. Hold your eyes open and don’t blink. That wasn’t pleasant for you, but now you know how we feel. – Dahmer, Sebert, Gordy, Adams Jr., St. Asaph et al”
Anthony Easton: This will be the highest score that the track will get, I am sure. I love 3OH!3, because for all their butch fronting about their prowess, it just seems like so much work — they are trying to convince us of their own prowess. There are other things — the weird Dahmer reference, the electro/aggro choices in music, how they spit verses, the Ke$ha-worthy autotune, and ugly as an aesthetic choice. Ending it with the lalalalas guarantees an extra point.
Alfred Soto: Is he demanding legitimate rape or…?
Patrick St. Michel: Fifty seconds into this, I was pretty sure I’d be jotting down a one-liner about how 3OH!3 think you can win a woman’s attention by buying her drinks, and maybe giving this a . Five seconds later, the cyborg voice came in and I subtracted one point. Then came the line about cannibalism. Three cringe-inducing moments in under a buck twenty? That’s impressive for all the wrong reasons.