18-year-old gets tagged as this year’s designated UK crossover rapper – Calvin Harris collaboration ahoy!…

[Video][MySpace]
[5.67]

John M. Cunningham: Excise a few suggestions of vulgarity, and this dumb declaration of self could be a mainstay on some British equivalent of the Disney Channel. There’s an earnest charm to the retrograde rhymes, though (“I’m just tryin’ to do my music” is dorky like “The Super Bowl Shuffle,” not to mention the Monkees theme), and when all’s said and done, I sort of just want to give the kid a noogie.
[6]

Martin Kavka: The most interesting thing about this track is that it doesn’t sound current, and it doesn’t seem interested in trying. I would like to infer from this that the UK rap scene is over its inferiority complex, and has stopped trying to appear more street-butch than US rappers. Nevertheless, I suspect that most people will infer from this that the UK rap scene is just as naff as ever.
[5]

Doug Robertson: Wow, Alvin’s voice hasn’t half broken. Crunchy guitars, bouncy rapping with just enough edge to keep it on the right side of novelty and the sort of hookiness that could probably reel in a whole boatful of prime cod if you so desired. Of course, it’s destined to be blasted out of too many bass heavy car stereos to retain its charms for long, but right now, and it’s only the now that matters, it’s kinda ace.
[7]

Edward Okulicz: It’s a one man, British Blog 27, in that it’s somewhat drony, minimal and almost banging. It’s vaguely endearing. It’s hugely embarrassing. A winner as a novelty single but as a career-starter it possibly suggests horrible things to come. I think I like it.
[8]

Hillary Brown: Both unusual and somehow madly uninteresting at the same time.
[5]

Additional Scores

M. H. Lo: [5]
Dan MacRae: [2]
Dave Moore: [8]
Martin Skidmore: [5]