Friday, January 4th, 2013

Avicii vs. Nicky Romero – I Could Be the One

Is that picture flipping off our blurbs?


Daniel Montesinos-Donaghy: I am the sentimental type, so when anonymous female vocals sing hand-holding PICK ME CHOOSE ME LOVE ME corniness from across a crowded room, I am touched. There’s something a little intoxicating about this familiar blitz, especially when it’s soaked in neon-streaked Balearic romanticism. I’m on a sea of neon particles, jumping on rays, whizzing euphorically through confetti skies! This song matters little in the light of day [3] where it sounds like gormless Eurothump (which it is)! But come night-time, this is unpretentious and effective gormless Eurothump. I wrote this blurb at night, so it’s a:

Will Adams: Vocalist Noonie Bao, unjustly uncredited here, deserves an award for transforming what was previously a thin “Levels” retread into something genuinely uplifting. “I Could Be the One” won’t break much ground in the house scene, but I won’t be upset if this becomes the next poster child for EDM.

Katherine St Asaph: “Hello, is this Avicky?” “Avicii.” “Yeah, that. So we’re called the EDM Conglomerate, kind of a big deal, you know. We own your entire town after 10 p.m. Your kids’ family fun night, your mom’s drivetime radio, your grandma’s shuffleboard social, the whole shebang. Anyway, we heard your song, eh, ‘Good Feeling’?” “Levels.” “Right, the one with Chaka in it –” “Etta!” “Whoever. Anyway, any way you can re-record it and get rid of her?” “Get rid of Etta James? Even Flo Rida didn’t go that far — and also, she’s dead!” “Ah, so that’s where her Twitter went. But we just feel like she stands out too much, you know? Too old-fashioned. The kids won’t get it. You could put another peak in there.” “I find this very cynical and creatively bankrupt.” “Oh, so you’re a creative type, are you? Do you know how many messages Calvin Harris leaves for us? And don’t think that Madonna tour was a coincidence, pal. Or Flo Rida.” Avicii hung up. Five minutes later, he called back.

Iain Mew: When your track is boring enough and your guest vocalist is unremarkable enough that by the end I’m actually wondering what Flo Rida would sound like over it, that’s not a good sign.

Ian Mathers: I do not give a single fuck about Avicii’s post-“Sandstorm” maximalism at all costs kind of dance music, but I did laugh more than I expected to at “I think you should eat a dick” in the video, although parts of that were… not good too (it’s a solid [6] though).

Hazel Robinson: Man. This video is annoying. And the slight “normal girl bullish rebellion” angle does nothing to create a sense of interest in the song, which is the same tune that Avicii always uses, except now it’s making me really quite angry rather than just bored.

Alfred Soto: “I’m just an advertisement of a version of myself.”

Brad Shoup: As if the cure for stress could be a company putting you on hold.

Reader average: [5.84] (13 votes)

Vote: 0   1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10

5 Responses to “Avicii vs. Nicky Romero – I Could Be the One”

  1. I had so many screencap candidates! I don’t know how y’all do it.

  2. As great as it is not to give a fuck, stepping on the little girl’s sandcastle was just a cross over into full blown narcissism.

  3. And sexual harassment, even of buff men who are waiters/aspiring models by day and acting students by night, is not okay.

  4. Not if they’re totally asking for it!!!!!1!

  5. Olivia Benson would kill me for writing that.