Monday, February 18th, 2013

Lil Wayne ft. Drake & Future – Bitches Love Me

Drake, left out of the comping group hug, is sad…


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[4.00]

Alfred Soto: So ridiculous that it invents its own level of outrage. Over the catchiest synth-anchored melody he’s gotten in years, Wayne fantasizes about a dick that feels like morphine and a name that tastes like sardines, never mind filet mignon. Future, metamorphosing into a hologram of futuresex, shimmers smuttingly. I think they called Drake for “sincerity.”
[6]

Rebecca A. Gowns: I like all three of these guys, but this song sounds like they took all their songs from the past two years and produced an arithmetic mean.
[4]

Katherine St Asaph: Plusses: Future, in an entirely different song bawling about alcohol like the day he fell was yesterday and everything since has been limbo; that section toward the end where the track drops out and Lil Wayne drops the drooling to emulate him, a high-pitched foil. Minuses: Drake, around just long enough to remind you why you’re a hater; Lil Wayne providing the third-worst Young Money bastardization of Aaliyah in recent memory (nos. 1 and 2, for reference). Everything else: interchangeable, despite Mike WiLL’s rococo efforts, with “She Will.”
[5]

Crystal Leww: This track is beautiful if you only consider Mike WiLL’s production and Future and Drake’s proclamations of love to their ladies. Too bad Lil Wayne is the star of this joint.
[6]

Patrick St. Michel: The familiar croon of Future and the whirring “Mike WILL Made It” seals of quality = ohhhh, yes, I love these guys! Drake zooming in = hmmmmm, this could go either way, maybe he’ll just be part of the hook? That would be OK. Lil Wayne jumps in, with a verse highlighted by the line “all she eats is dick/she’s on a strict diet” = eeeeep. On he goes, busting out gems like “baby just make me cum/and then don’t make a sound” = oh lord, what happened Wayne, what happened???? Future and, gulp, Drake appear again = *swoon* please stay guys, even you Drake, please! Nope, back to Wayne, lazily rapping about oral sex and his still-befuddling skating obsession. Oh fuck this.
[3]

Brad Shoup: I’m going to tap out on this one. “Bitches Love Me” hits me as languorously vile and un-provocatively callous. I get that some would be flattered by his Superhead comparison, and even more would relate to his post-orgasmic indifference. And Future provides wide-eyed sweetness, mostly because he doesn’t get an expository verse. But I can’t deal. That’s just me.
[1]

Ian Mathers: Assuming that Fucking Drake is speaking for Lil Wayne and his increasingly wizened gremlin of a voice on the hook, at least he doesn’t give a shit about the fact that I can’t stand this piece of shit. (I personally checked out around “baby just make me come/then don’t make a sound.”)
[2]

Jer Fairall: “It’s like as soon as I cum, I come to my senses,” Weezy confesses in what might be a rare reflective moment were there anything else on this lazy, preening track to bear such a reading out. As it stands, it’s just Wayne lapsing into the blasé misogynist mode that is his default whenever he’s at a loss for anything to say, with Drake giving him all of the encouragement that he doesn’t need.
[2]

Anthony Easton: I like the production — it’s multi-layered and incredibly complicated — and I love Future’s voice, the androgyny of it. Too bad both are in the service of something that’s both cliched and kind of icky. 
[5]

Al Shipley: As long as my Future’s on this, I could give a fuck about no skater. 
[6]

Reader average: [5.16] (6 votes)

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4 Responses to “Lil Wayne ft. Drake & Future – Bitches Love Me”

  1. I said a thing that got edited out — maybe because my blurb was like, two one-liners — but I liked it. I said this was a casserole of a song.

    Man, this is a casserole of a song.

  2. A casserole of the past week’s dinners. They were great dinners. This is a good casserole. But it’s still leftovers.

  3. I felt as though the Lil Wayne part of that casserole had been left in the fridge maybe a little too long tho

  4. “Casserole of a song” is about right.

    I was late to blurb this and heard it for the first time on Future’s ‘FBG’ mixtape. I skipped it. I don’t skip anything Future does, but this took the biscuit.