Wednesday, May 27th, 2009

Lady GaGa – Lovegame

And so we are now officially part of 2009…


Al Shipley: There’s always been some little fear in the back of my mind that GaGa might actually make a song I’d love in spite of myself at some point. It happened with Fergie, after all — several times, actually. I braced myself as I pressed play on this one, but the first couple seconds eased my mind: nope, still shit.

Anthony Easton: You are not avant garde. Wear some pants.

Edward Okulicz: She’s managed to fuse all the worst aspects of flawed but (sometimes) worthy pop stars like Christina Aguilera, Nicole Scherzinger, Fergie, Lil’ Kim to create a kind of Frankenstein’s monster of terribleness on this single, which has a dated beat and no hooks whatsoever. To say nothing of the horrible lyrics which aren’t flirty and sexy, but instead create the impression that while her voice causes cringing at its pure sexlessness, her crotch could probably transmit STIs at a range of 20 feet.

Martin Kavka: All right, I give. I finally find her interesting. Perhaps it’s because she says that she needs love at the same time that she only wants it for three seconds? Perhaps it’s because the electro production doesn’t strangle the life out of this song? Perhaps it’s because I know her character so well now (Alienated Performance Artist) that I can analyze the semiotics of her outfits in the video, as opposed to concluding that they’re simply shocking for the sake of shocking?

Dave Moore: I wish I didn’t like Lady GaGa less the more I got to know her (once upon a time I wouldn’t pause to enter that second uppercase “G” — even that seems overly pretentious), but at this point I know her far too well and like her…none. Given she’s someone who would love for her every gesture to count as performance art, being able to forget the music is kind of a relief.

Rodney J. Greene: Seems to be predicated entirely on the premise that homosexual men are idiots who will gladly eat up any pandering bullshit that mentions disco and dick in close proximity.

Martin Skidmore: Thanks, Wikipedia: “Gaga has explained that the word ‘discostick’ is a metaphor for the penis”. It’s good to have such subtleties illuminated for us.

Alex Macpherson: Lady Gaga has been so intently aggressive in forcing her obnoxious persona on to the world that it’s easy to forget that her actual recorded output is aggravating for entirely different reasons, viz., it is so incredibly dull. “LoveGame” is more of the same utterly unexceptional electropop, performed once again so flatly that you begin to suspect that Lady Gaga might not be all that interested in the whole “music” side of her “art project”. Shocking, I know. Oh, and when she puts on that stupid voice for that stupid “disco stick” line, it is definitely the most appalling pop moment since “PUH-PUH-PUH-PUHKER FACE”.

Jordan Sargent: GaGa’s talents as a hit writer are undeniable, but as a songwriter she’s never able to get out of her own way. On “Just Dance” she kills the song’s momentum with a needily complex bridge, on “Poker Face” she drowns the song with a plodding refrain and on “LoveGame” she uses the phrase “disco stick” in an attempt at subversion but instead she just renders the song laughable. Like her persona, the end result is just way too much, and all we can hope for is that by the time she starts writing her second album she’ll have realized that we “get” her.

Chuck Eddy: After my initial kneejerk scoffing at her silly post-electroclash Teutonic drag-queen transgression schtick, her album is now a front-runner for my favorite of the year. And partly because it took me until this spring to get into “Just Dance” (which at first hit me as too generic pop-r&b, which is partly how “LoveGame” hits me now) Gaga is the only artist who now has two of my 30 top 2009 singles. I’d give them both 8s or 9s; in terms of sheer unabashed zany hooks, they’re the only things on the radio this year that rank up against “Boom Boom Pow.” They’re also both excellent songs: “Poker Face” probably music’s cleverest extended gambling metaphor in years, and the only American chart-topper ever to remember both Boney M (“muh muh muh MAH Ma Baker”) and Aqua (“She has got to love nobody” = “Come on Barbie let’s go party” note for note); “Just Dance” wittily depicting a universal music-related social situation (scary dazed confusion in a bar after over-imbibing) in a way that might well be unprecedented. They’re also both packed with electrobeats, nonsense syllables, and phrasing turnarounds as funny as they are energetic; somebody on ILM said GaGa’s synths rip off early ’90s Belgian New Beat, which I don’t quite buy, but if it’s true, it’s cool. “LoveGame” isn’t as good, and I have to wonder whether its comparatively ungoofy radio-r&b averageness is why it’s now a single (as opposed to, say, The Fame‘s more disco or bubblegum or Blondie or Ace of Base tracks). The part everybody will hate is actually the catchiest hook in the song — and sorry, but I don’t see how the words “disco stick” are any more inane than “magic stick” or “lollipop” or “candy shop” or “birthday sex.” It’s not like the airwaves have exactly been loaded with mature lovemaking commentary the past few years.

Additional Scores

Chris Boeckmann: [2]
Iain Mew: [4]
Frank Kogan: [7]
Alfred Soto: [6]
Keane Tzong: [0]

10 Responses to “Lady GaGa – Lovegame”

  1. I think Anthony’s review is the funniest thing on nu-Jukebox so far. Bravo.

  2. Oh dear, and after Poker Face grew on me so much, too. Can’t see the same happening with this, especially with that dick-grabbing dance thing at the end.

  3. Impressively, I actually hate this more the more often I hear it.

  4. I don’t see how the words “disco stick” are any more inane than “magic stick” or “lollipop” or “candy shop” or “birthday sex.”

    all of these with the exception of maybe “magic stick” actually make sense, also if you hate her persona like most of us do you’re gonna hate her flaunting of the term “disco stick” with “disco” being the operative word there

  5. Yeah, I’m not a big fan of her persona either, as I say above. Kinda got over that, though, when I actually listened to her songs. (Not saying anybody else should get over it; just that I did.) As for “disco stick,” it made me cringe just as much as all those other phrases at first. Still does, kind of. But if anything, the silly non-literalness of it is a saving grace — It goes fine with all her nonsense syllables I was talking about. And if anybody earns the word “disco” this year, Gaga does.

  6. “Just Dance” and “Poker Face” have grown on me immensely over the last few months too, the latter now being one of my favourite singles of this year. This I don’t see myself growing to like anywhere near as much as the last two.

  7. Unfortunately, her music is awful, too. Both her production and voice are surprisingly harsh. I feel like I’m being attacked by an army of dull hacksaws listening to her.

  8. (might as well throw in an “emphasis on ‘hack'”)

  9. Lady gaga lovegame is cheap imagine all the 10 yr olds gals singing about wanting a disco stick. Send her back to the chokey please

  10. i htink lovegame was a good song adn whoever doesnt like it then that is what you think and what i think is that it is very good and so dont put her down because of one song.