(We’ll be the judge of that.)

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[4.67]Hannah Jocelyn: All the pieces are there for a great song. Markus Dravs and Hozier remain an inspired pairing, and the production is unexpectedly eccentric rather than bombastic like previous collaboration “Nina Cried Power.” Shawn Everett’s mix has the same rubbery quality of his best work (that cavernous kick drum might as well be his equivalent of a producer tag), and he wisely keeps the choir from overwhelming the song like on “Someone New.” Hozier himself piles on the references like he did with “Nina,” but unlike “2002”/“1999,” there’s a purpose; plenty has been written about music that can’t be listened to, but not enough about reclaiming said music from a relationship. Yet this doesn’t work to its full potential — the production and underlying song don’t seem to be in conversation with one another, as contrast or as complement. It feels like two different songs at once, the quirky percussive single and the kind of acoustic ballad that contemporary Ben Howard outgrew on his own second album. There are great individual moments, but as a whole, the title remains accurate.
[6]

Thomas Inskeep: *strum* *handclap/footstomp beats* *unattractive baritone sings* Wait, he’s singing about classic jazz? Ugh, white people.
[2]

Katie Gill: It’s a bright sing-along of a song that reminds me more of King Charles circa 2012 than my previous image of the singer. I honestly didn’t know this man could sing something fun. Can we keep this Hozier and just hide the previous Hozier of fake grandiosity fame in the back of a cupboard somewhere?
[6]

Alfred Soto: This unsuccessful amalgam of reggae, arena balladry, and Hozierisms nevertheless has a fascination. Like Ezra Koenig, Hozier-Byrne has seen enough cities from touring vans to feel a rumbling in his stomach that’s not the 7-11 chili dog. Music is what he knows. He can’t articulate his impressions because they remain mysterious even to him, hence the blur of allusions. Almost (not bad).
[4]

Ian Mathers: You never can tell; I would have thought I’d have found the political/activist references on “Nina Cried Power” to be more ill-fitting than the relentless string of song references here, but this is the song that feels a little more awkward. But it’s a charming kind of awkward? Enough so I had to come back and bump this up a point after the chorus got stuck in my head.
[7]

Julian Axelrod: If Hozier really wanted to pay tribute to his unappreciated inspirations, he would thrown in a stirring bridge about Dave Matthews.
[6]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Hozier has gone ahead and made his own Vampire Weekend track, albeit one that’s less literary. While Ezra Koenig finds delight in finding a throughline in the seeming non-sequiturs that grace his lyrics, Hozier is content with traveling down the “Nina Cried Power” route and simply listing off jazz references. The interpolations of song titles from famous musicians — Coltrane! Ellington! Evans! — are utterly meaningless, but their charmless nature is able to pass by unbeknownst to many listeners (what a fortuitous blessing). If “Power” was nothing but tedious virtue signalling, then “Almost” is nothing but a decent groove: a considerable improvement.
[6]

Iris Xie: Hozier bellows his voice and overpowers an underwhelming and weak instrumental. This is the type of song where I’d be upset by hearing it play in the bar, then realize quickly that this drink I ordered tasted really bad, and I should probably leave this establishment and go somewhere else. The vocal layers in the outro of the song is tacky for a song without soul.
[2]

Katherine St Asaph: The way to improve “Take Me to Church” was not to turn it into Michael Franti.
[3]