The Singles Jukebox

Say hello to Wayne’s lil friends…

[Video][Myspace]
[5.64]

Michaelangelo Matos: Breezy summer jam disguised as label showcase. “I just want to fuck every girl in the world” — of course R. Kelly appropriated it for his new mixtape.
[7]

Martin Skidmore: I don’t know if we need rap supergroups, really. This lot want to fuck every girl in the world. They keep saying “we like her and we like her too” and so on, without giving any sense that they actually like girls at all. There’s little sense of different characters coming through, because it’s all heavily autotuned. This means I dislike the vocals (Wayne still sounds a lousy singer, even with the help), and find the way the sentiment is expressed rather distasteful.
[2]

Chuck Eddy: This seems a perfect place to confess that, though I’ve been listening to rap music for 30 years, I’ve almost never cared “whose verse is better.” I tend to take a more holistic approach to such pursuits. Plus, music isn’t sports, and figuring out who’s who is usually too much trouble. That said, hearing “Every Girl” on the car radio, it didn’t even occur to me that more than two guys were involved. I guess I dislike Gudda Gudda’s verse least, for the “butter pecan Puerto Rican” and “get my Bill Clinton on” stuff.
[4]

Martin Kavka: A song with a chorus of “I wish I could fuck every girl in the world” is pretty much guaranteed to make me run screaming from a room and retreat to My Own Special Place where I can receive a hug from my lifesize and anatomically correct Hugh Jackman doll. But when Gudda Gudda says, “I’m about to get my Bill Clinton on, and Hillary can ride ’em too,” I bust out laughing. By the time Mack Maine coos “in about three years, holla at me Miley Cyrus,” all my resistance has melted away, and Hugh and I start singing along with the chorus.
[7]

Frank Kogan: A strange palette here, apparent lushness that’s actually threadbare, the AutoTune a hypothetical attempt at melody.
[4]

Hillary Brown: Seems like an attempt to recapture the magic of “Pimpin’ All Over the World,” but it falls way short. Sure, the sentiment is one we all feel at times in the summer, what with everyone walking around looking all hot and not wearing a whole lot, and the vibe is right, but there needs to be both a bunch more and a bunch less going on here.
[5]

Jonathan Bradley: There are more than a few talented rappers on “Every Girl”, but the only one who stands out much is Weezy, and that’s mostly due to his higher profile rather than any display of lyrical acumen. You could blame Autotune if you really wanted to hunt that witch all over again, but to do so would be to ignore that good rappers who should know better have been recording tepid love-jams for decades. A more accurate diagnosis of the malady here would be to observe that Mack Maine and Jae Millz sound like petulant kids coerced by their little sister into play tea-parties with her dolls, while Drake, the kind of boy who might actually enjoy such a game, saved all of his inspiration for “Best I Ever Had.” I’ll give points for the earworm hook and the sly skeeviness of “in about three years, holla at me, Miley Cyrus,” but a Young Money posse cut should sound pretty much the exact opposite of this.
[4]

Matt Cibula: OKAY THAT IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. This is more than the sum of its parts — AutoTune plus Chopping + Screwing plus Horny-Minded Hetero Love Rap — because the freestyling actually sounds free and because there are several classic lines here and, most crucially, it sounds like they actually DO like girls. And I might be wrong but I could see this getting played in a gay club and everyone just cracking up and dancing anyway.
[9]

Chris Boeckmann: I mean, this is nice and all, but I feel like I need to wash my ears out with some female empowerment anthems. Electrik Red, anyone?
[7]

Al Shipley: This seemed to hit heavy rotation here right on the first hot day of the year, as if the jam of the summer arrived precisely on schedule. The way the trebly synth slides over the humming bass is divine, and the hook isn’t too dirty for radio but still sleazy enough that it feels like they’re getting away with something. Wayne’s rapping skills have slumped to the point that he’s not putting his proteges to shame, but the level playing field just means that everyone gets to have some dumb fun with it.
[8]

Ian Mathers: It must be hard work to make omnivorous lust sound so tedious. Decent production, though.
[5]