We will wash the dishes, while you go have a beer…

[Video]
[3.14]

Alfred Soto: I wonder if Luke Combs’s ecumenicism extends to craft beers, and, if so, does he save the hangover experiences for songs about wimmen? Ecumenicism has its limits: that metal riff makes Brantley Gilbert sound like Big Thief.
[4]

Stephen Eisermann: With how little information we hear about the girl in the second verse, I’m not sure y’all were close enough for her to break your heart, Luke. This song would be so enjoyable if I couldn’t already imagine thousands of dudes singing it aggressively at girls who just aren’t interested; and in today’s world, that’s more scary than this song is fun.
[4]

Taylor Alatorre: Luke Combs thinks his singing voice is powerful enough to have us ignore that this brings nothing new to the table lyrically, and frankly it’s not a terrible bet. He’s confident enough in his natural twang to recite this “lorum ipsum dolor” of country songwriting without a hint of shame or irony, which is a talent all its own. The lack of ambition in the arrangement is palpable, though, and when the shredding guitar solo kicks in it’s like a bird that’s been momentarily let out of its cage.
[5]

Tim de Reuse: There’s this argument that country music is unfairly maligned by coastal elites because it’s marketed towards largely disenfranchised, poor communities in flyover states grappling with an opioid crisis and a general sense of decay. I think there’s a point to be made there, but this tune is trying its hardest to make me unsympathetic. Combs isn’t here to say “Circumstances are bad and alcohol is the only thing that makes me feel stable;” He’s here to say “Women and sports are really getting me down. I’d rather have a drink with my pals!” This song has a man cave and complains to its friends about the ol’ ball and chain. This song practices its southern drawl in the mirror to hide the fact that its parents were both middle managers from upstate New York. This song limps along on a pathetic, overcompressed runt of a snare drum, goose-stepping down a path well-trod by the million other better-produced country acts of the 21st century. This song voted for Ted Cruz.
[1]

Ian Mathers: I don’t believe this man has ever had a beer in his life.
[1]

Katherine St Asaph: I assume everyone else will deal with the trusty ol’ beer (has Luke Combs never gotten one that’s all foam?) so I’ll just go straight to the quibble: Terrible maps aside, jeans should be Duke blue, not Carolina blue.  
[3]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: The best part of “Beer Never Broke My Heart” is that it is exactly the song you expected when you heard that there was a country song called “Beer Never Broke My Heart.”
[4]