The Singles Jukebox

The radio edit of this should be interesting, if nothing else…

[Video][Myspace]
[6.10]

Chuck Eddy: The video kept making me think of that old Art of Noise one where the little girl helps three old guys destroy a piano. That video was better than that song, which is better than this video, which is better than this song. Which is still almost stoopid enough.
[6]

Dave Moore: Music like this makes me wish I understood some music-cultural milieu other than listening in your basement and its bloggy variants, because I imagine this would be fun to dance to in some sorta club. But I fear I’m completely unqualified to judge it, as the only sonic forbear that immediately comes to mind from the song’s ruthless earworming synth hook is “Megaman 3.”
[7]

Martin Kavka: Crazy Frog is keepin’ it real.
[0]

Michaelangelo Matos: My name is Michael and I like annoying dance records.
[7]

Martin Skidmore: The only prominent words are “Riverside motherfucker”, sampled from Tupac, so it qualifies as one of the best lyrics of the year. The beats on this Dutch house number seem slightly off kilter most of the way, as if they are a tenth of a beat off and in an atonal key. I wanted it to build and release rather more than it does, but the sample hooks me, and it chugs along nicely.
[7]

Anthony Miccio: If this was the theme to a fierce live action Archie update with an appropriate “Riverdale, motherfucker!” exclamation, it would be a lot more charming – and a lot shorter.
[5]

Jonathan Bradley: The vocal sample is a little disappointing when it pops up: the pinging synth riff and subterranean groove makes for a far better hook than context-free cursing. There’s enough going on in the interplay between the scratchy treble and thick insistent bass that human voices only distract. Regardless, the dirty swagger on display is a novel detour from the lighter and more playful Euro dance tracks I’d been hearing until recently; this crawls along almost as if it were hip-hop.
[7]

Matt Cibula: I fully approve of everything in this song, this video, this approach, this aesthetic, and this world which allows things like this to exist. Took off a point for when they get all fancy with the lyrics.
[9]

Additional Scores

Hillary Brown: [6]
Anthony Easton: [7]