Wednesday, March 12th, 2014

5 Seconds of Summer – She Looks So Perfect

The Hot Topic Index, joining the UK Boy Band Scale


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[4.30]

Alfred Soto: It’s a fair bet that arena-sized post-glam thumpers, perfected by One Direction last fall, will be 2014’s hot sound for boy bands. The chorus makes “Summer Girls” sound like “T.B. Sheets.” But cliches about messed-up lipstick making the girl look like a work of art persist.
[3]

Scott Mildenhall: One of the bestworst choruses you could hope for: one dreadful couplet, one awkward and one brilliant, all rendered vital irrespective by an urgency restrained just enough to leave space for the gap of desire. The catches in the voices and cadences in the melodies make a probable glint in the eye feel a certainty, and everything else doubly easy to be swept along by. If Springsteen had grown up listening to Wheatus.
[8]

Iain Mew: “This deadbeat town’s only there to bring us down” — read that meaning of “down” across to “I’m so down” in the chorus and the whole thing’s dead-eyed gloss becomes pathetic enough to be a little affecting. There are few enough details it almost works!
[4]

Brad Shoup: These twerps almost wrote a perfect chorus! But they fall before the tape with “I’m so down”. Nearly impeccable power-pop-punkcraft, though, even if the verses are filler. I’m amazed this didn’t come out in 1999.
[7]

Anthony Easton: This seems slightly out of fashion, small town boys trying to be hip — which might be part of the point, but I’m not sure what is accidental or not. The mixtape straight out of ’94 is for sure trying too hard, but I cannot quite parse the American Apparel reference. There should be some kind of rubric for this. Maybe call it the Hot Topic Index or something. 
[2]

Megan Harrington: I have some vague biological objections to sharing dirty underwear, but I have five ice cold Red Bulls in a cooler and I’m ready to take third shift driving the neo-boy band bandwagon. In another lifetime this would be an Avril Lavigne song, pop-punk that weighs the pop heavy. It makes perfect sense that it’s been reincarnated as a pre-fab teen mag hunk single. I want to make a mixtape full of Green Album Weezer and sellout Liz Phair and All-American Rejects and play it really loud and drive to the mall for a pair of knockoff Wayfarers. 
[8]

Katherine St Asaph: Every ‘N Sync needs its Blink-182, every Britney its Avril, every ’00s revival its Fall Out Boy. Docked a point because either “standing there in my American Apparel underwear” is product placement and Dov Charney is making money off it, or these dudes just can’t hear where the cadence goes clunk.
[4]

Patrick St. Michel: Gonna be really hard to top this chorus in overall wretchedness, a not-even-trying commercial tie-up joined by other “the kids like this, right?” signifiers (skinny jeans, the ’90s, tattoos nobody actually has). And its plodding, shouty music on top of that.
[0]

Edward Okulicz: This has the same lightweight attempts at power pop that were intermittently charming on One Direction’s album, but because the hooks here also weigh nothing, the song would be blown away as easily by a wind machine as it does a serious analysis of its musical worth. It’s important that the music industry make music for girls, and if the girls like the boys who make it then that’s all good too, but this is so thin and sexless musically that it makes Hot Chelle Rae seem like full-bodied hip-shakers. They’re even from a dour Christian college out in McMansionland, so the comparison is apt.
[3]

David Sheffieck: Propulsive enough to almost make a “hey hey” backing chant work, but mostly just makes me hope that this time, American Apparel actually does get delisted from the NYSE. Which admittedly says something regarding my feelings about that company, but says more about how this song is nowhere near as catchy as it needs to be.
[4]

Reader average: [6.75] (4 votes)

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2 Responses to “5 Seconds of Summer – She Looks So Perfect”

  1. Meagan has been on fire this week!

  2. watch the blimp read “the year is yours”