The Singles Jukebox

“One Facebook fan suggested calling them ‘Gwake’ or ‘Blen,’ but KLG and Hoda suggest ‘Sheltani.’ What do you think?”

[Video][Website]
[5.14]

Josh Langhoff: Sexy slow jam, or the most dispiriting show of drunken desperation since Kathie Lee and Hoda discovered Face Swap? (“If you’re tired of looking at yourself in selfies…”) Your answer may depend on whether you’re one of the drunks doing the desperatin’. That’ll also likely affect whether you find Blake charming when he growls out “Colorado” the exact. same. way. three times in a row.
[1]

Alfred Soto: If I believe the tabloids, which I don’t, this hunk of countryflesh has marital problems. If true, his singing and material have improved. Infer what you like. The pedal steel sounds a pleasant tilt-a-whirl hook while Shelton bites into the Rumours scenario. “Keep playin’ them songs,” he groans, betraying the identity of the only mistress to whom Shelton has ever pledged his troth: country and the limitless range between sin and possibility. 
[7]

Cassy Gress: So. Gwen Stefani releases this, ostensibly about Blake Shelton, and now Blake releases this, ostensibly about Gwen. It’s uncomfortable to rate a song based on how much I like or dislike the real-life artist personally, but with Blake and Gwen on their new-relationship publicity tour, it’s difficult to parse this outside of that context. Call me a misandrist, but I buy Gwen as the wounded party much more than Blake, and that ruins the whole “we’re broken-hearted and falling in love” mood of this. “Colorado hit” is an awkward way to reference weed, and Blake’s vocal twang hits an almost nasally Goofy note in areas, while the guitars plod and jangle along obligingly. Blake and Gwen aside, this lyrically is a fairly accurate description of emotional intimacy turning romantic, and if any other random male country star sang it, I’d probably give it a [5] or so. With this though, I think Blake is sending a message, and so I will agreeably give it a
[3]

Anthony Easton: Shelton sings sad songs with a kind of hangdog air of resignation — he can make the phrase “salt the rim” sound like a black hole absorbing any feeling but exhaustion. The guitar is busy, and the writing is just ugly with cliche, but how his voice just kind of creeps along without even bother to leer is weirdly affecting.
[8]

Brad Shoup: The way Blake sings “keeps saltin’ the rim”: he must let me paint it. I know he’s talking tequila shots, but imagine him and her commiserating over neon margaritas while the tiki bartender checks her watch. During the chorus, the guitar digs out these gothic chimes: a clock you can set your rock-bottom to. This isn’t a revenge joint like “Home Alone Tonight”. The setting is wine-dark; the couple is vignetted in a cozy corner booth.
[7]

Edward Okulicz: On the one hand, Shelton doesn’t make me care, so I’m pretty sure his ex and her ex don’t care that much, otherwise they wouldn’t be collective exes. On the other, I’m really down for that synth whistle, which evokes the sight of an already dimly-lit turning the lights completely off as the doomed, the depressed, down their last drinks before making their inevitable mistakes for the evening.
[6]

Will Adams: On the admittedly short list of Songs Gwen And Blake Made About Each Other (Subcategory: Sultry Songs), “Send Me a Picture” ranks far above “Came Here to Forget.” And that song’s about sexting.
[4]