The Singles Jukebox

I don’t wanna be a chicken, I don’t wanna be a duck, so I shake my FWOOP FWOOP FWOOP

[Video][Website]
[5.80]

Iain Mew: What if “Solo Dancing” was actually about what its video thought it was about, went as direct as “you’re the only one I’m coming for” and also chose to use the medium of stuttered vocal sample to explore cry/quack dualism? Complete with the emotional clarity of “Symphony” and the friendly audacity of “Rockabye?” No need to wonder any more, and Clean Bandit’s success in everything they try is getting almost too good to believe.
[9]

Claire Biddles: After the middling Julia Michaels collab “I Miss You” Clean Bandit are back to their winning streak. “Solo” is a checklist of all the best Clean Bandit characteristics: (literally) banging chorus, cannily-selected guest vocalist, and um, esoteric lyrical content. I’ve written before about my enthusiasm for their weirdo sensibilities, so I was practically cheering when I first heard that “WOOP WOOP WOOP” wanking metaphor. It feels good to have a pop mainstay as reliably odd as Clean Bandit.
[8]

Will Adams: There might be something interesting in the concept of a song about female masturbation that explores its loneliness instead of cheeky, I-see-what-you-did-there empowerment. But it’s hard to contemplate that over the sound of “I wanna FWOOP FWOOP FWOOP but I’m broken hearted” and my ensuing laughter.
[4]

Katherine St Asaph: Never mind the irony of a supposed female empowerment song — it’s not, not unless you consider “I’m so devastated over this dude, all I can do is desperately masturbate” empowering — turning Demi Lovato, a distinctive singer with things to say, first into a nondescript voice then into wordless chopped-up babble. We’re still stuck with that trend, it seems. The real problem is that evocative babble, as in “Breathe,” is hard to pull off; more often, you’ll end up in narm, as in “Make Me (Cry).” You just can’t convey pathos as Crazy Frog.
[3]

Ryo Miyauchi: While Demi goes about it casually without a need to angle it as if it’s something out of character, it still sounds a bit too labored with its attempt to center it as its main draw. Clean Bandit has some offenses with its cut-and-paste, self-censoring chorus, but Demi also got some puns in there that bat a wink a little too hard.
[5]

Alfred Soto: About a decade ago, the whistle made a comeback to the pop song. Now the stutter’s cool. As usual Demi Lovato brings her formidable charisma to a production that could use a Xanax. 
[6]

Vikram Joseph: Totally passable, profoundly average trop-house-pop. You’d dance to it because your friends are dancing to it and it’s easier than not dancing to it; hell, it might even absorb some sort of transient significance if you heard it enough times on holiday somewhere hot. Chances are you won’t remember much about it, though.
[5]

Juana Giaimo: It’s a pleasant surprise to find Demi Lovato having complete control over her voice. The fast EDM beat isn’t just suitable for the strong vocals she displays in her own songs. The vocal distortion of the chorus adds some fun effects suitable for a party kind of song. As for the lyrics, many are already pointing it them out as a female masturbation anthem and the music video confirms it. This is still something to celebrate — considering that for the world, women don’t know about self-pleasure. However, it’s quite disappointing that it’s called “Solo” and not “Sola,“, that is, the feminine form of the adjective “alone.”  
[7]

Stephen Eisermann: Demi always sounds best on songs that aren’t her own and I’m convinced it’s because the producers and people in the studio aren’t too scared to tell her to dial it down. Her restrained vocals are more pleasant and versatile than the overwhelming belt she seems to love to use. Much like a kid is better behaved at a friend’s house than his own, Demi doesn’t bombard us with belts on this track. Oh, and the production is cute, too.
[6]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: While I’m convinced that the best Demi Lovato songs are those that work with — and justify — her propensity for unrestrained vocalizing, it’s always refreshing to hear her do something relatively tame. “Solo,” however, completely hinges on how one reads the chorus. While I’d argue that the stuttering Farmer See ‘n Say vocal edits stymie the lyrical themes (female masturbation is empowering funny?), the song would be considerably less memorable without them. So, uh:
[5]