The Singles Jukebox

Getting launched in the UK now…

[Myspace]
[4.73]

Peter Parrish: I’m a bit suspicious of people self-describing as ‘a loose cannon.’ But if Erik insists on being one, I wish he’d bring something more unconventional to back it up. Maverick my face off Erik Hassle – do it! He doesn’t do it. There’s a neat three note counterpoint to the main rhythm though, which drew my attention so well I was starting to forget about the rest of the song. That’s fine, because Erik doesn’t want to be remembered.
[5]

Tom Ewing: So the lyrics are all “Don’t bring flowers because I am a dead man walking” but the voice is all “Don’t bring flowers because I am a florist.” Oh Erik, you big silly! Nobody’s going to kill you! They’d have to notice you first. Melody and hooks up to previous standards though, so again I find myself wishing he’d write for other people – somewhere in Europe the next Tokio Hotel is looking for an anthem…
[6]

Erick Bieritz: I had some vague idea that Erik Hassle would be one of those artists like James Blunt or The Fray, with a forceful name that belies the music, so a stridently groovy anti-funeral etiquette (?) song with a catchy three-note descending chorus hook was a surprise. I’ve now learned that he’s actually a buzz-inducing Swedish 20-year-old whose musical potential was apparent when he “latter became detected of one music urging gives on it skolspelning.” Ah, I stand corrected.
[7]

Chris Boeckmann: Please replace Ryan Tedder now. Please replace Ryan Tedder now. Please replace Ryan Tedder now…
[8]

Michaelangelo Matos: My girlfriend, with alarmed facial expression: “That’s the worst chorus ever.” After some more consideration: “Maybe it’s the theme for that new vampire movie.”
[3]

Kat Stevens: There is already an over-subscribed genre for perky emo and it is called ‘ABBA’. Saying that, I think this would work really well as a hyper-chipmunked Ultrabeat bosh anthem. Or perhaps sung by Enrique with a massive gospel choir backing him up?
[3]

Ian Mathers: My problems with Hassle last time were that he’s overly dramatic and that “Hurtful” kind of chugged along without ever taking off. Given that “Don’t Bring Flowers” is even less dynamic than “Hurtful” and the rest of the chorus goes “…after I’m dead,” it’s safe to say he’s failed to improve on either count.
[4]

Tal Rosenberg: Does this count as country? Pop-country? Country-pop? Just pop? Dirty pop? Clean pop? Corn pops? Popcorn? Corny pop? Yeah, that’s it.
[2]

Anthony Easton: Can you die from banality?
[5]

Additional Scores

Chuck Eddy: [6]
Martin Skidmore: [3]